Triggers Rape - I am Angry As Can Be, Offended By Therapist

[Rob T.]

Thank You GR'ass,

*hugs to you*

Yeah, it was just a really badly handled therapy case in my opinion.

Please pardon me, this is a long reply.

Please pardon me if my next paragraphs are offensive, I'm not trying to be offensive in writing about this group of therapists that I had seen.

It could be that, well, 1) she is a woman from Japan. I have seen a lot of Asian families in public and at the malls and things. Most of the Japanese/Asian mothers I've seen let their under 12 years old sons have more freedom than their daughters are given. Meaning they ask their daughters to be neat, quiet and sit and play quietly, while the parents let their 7-year-old son be a pain and scamper around throwing newspapers all over the room.

That's just the way some families are-they tell the girls to sit quiet and talk and play nicely, while they let their boys run around and scream and do everything bad short of burning the house down.

Sometimes, a therapist has to be stern with me and say things like: Rob, the news clips about the war in Afghanistan are driving you nuts, do me a favor and stop reading them for this week.

It could be that my therapist grew up in a house where girls didn't correct boys when boys were being a total pain. And I think girls should tell boys and everyone when they're being a total pain. Ok, onto my next paragraph.

It could be that my therapist started wondering if she was brave enough to tell me to do things-and then decided to take on that big challenge.

Then later, I guess, she felt she couldn't bring herself to tell me to do things when she needed to.
So her Therapy office probably told her to jump on any excuse to kick me out of her office.
What nice folks. So they went with the "let's say things look romantic and out of bounds" angle. Ack. I never was romantic or innapropriate in similar ways with this person.

I would have been much happier if she had said something like: "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can work with you-you have dark hair, and some men with dark hair intimidate me." Or some story like that.

Something other than their trying to use the "things are getting romantic or sexy here, run away" lie that neither they or I believed. And Their dragging in the subject of "sex" which the U.S. and the western world have the biggest messed up view about that I've ever seen. Oh no, the newscaster said sex. run and hide. Ohhh Gee.

What Bozos. Some therapists don't know their Pack Mule from a hole in the ground. What does the U.S. navy says to taunt their new recruits?

recruit: Sir, This wrench won't turn this bolt.

Navy Officer: that's right sonny boy-when things don't work, always blame the equipment. Will that help us, sparky?

Yes, I feel much better that I'm not with that therapist or her coworkers. I think that I have a more level-headed view of people and the world than they do-which means, I'd be wasting my time going to them.

Thank You for sending me your reply, Gr'ass, *hugs* you've really made me feel better about this problem today.

I hope that you have a good day,

*hugs*

Until then,

Thank You,

Rob

 

[Portabella]

Hey Rob, I used to be a c/m and counselor, what I came to find is some are actually afraid to do their job. Some are very intimidated by men and it is actually no fault of the men, they have no history and they are appropriate, but.....the females are still uncomfortable behind closed doors. So...Please don't take this to heart and let it go. You are probably better off. In fact I know you are. Big Hugs.....
T.

 

[Rob T.]

Thank You Portabella,

Hm, Yes, after thinking about it, I think I'm over this event. If I believe that they are dishonest in finding me a counselor [for any reason], then they aren't the therapy office for me.

Thank You for talking with me about this issue.

*hugs to you*

Thank You,

Have a Good Day,

Rob

 

[responsiblek9]

Now keep in mind I am a female dealing with a female therapist...

Hmmh I have found when I was having a problem with a new therapist usually I had triggered them off in some way or other . This last one was a doosey.. For two months I wondered why the therapist was acting a bit paranoid?
Well I had this new therapist just two months before I had to deal with it.

Finnally confronted her on "have I triggered you off in some way?" I mean it is like by your actions you dont want to work with me at all . Yet by verbal you give me the impression you do want to....

The hesitation was interesting and then she explained.
On the first visit I had spooked her .. See her normal clients dont check a therapists credentials before they go to the first session, neither do they read the contracts and information before they sign off on it. . I had been given just a name by my insurance before my first scheduled session to go see if I wanted to hire this person, so I googled the therapist's name and got her credentials and qualifications and made sure they did not have any state licensing board complaints . I mean I was deciding if I was going to hire this new proffessional. And this is normal protocol of picking one qualified for what I need and avoid the nightmare I had before with a bad therapist some years ago.
So when I came in I made the mistake of mentioning this... Evidently this scared her and made her think I was implying a threat?
What a way to get off on the wrong foot.


But then I have never dealt with a bit paranoid therapist who practices in a large city.
I am used to rural practices who are not scared of their clients.

So am having a little culture clash. I hunt, I fish and am female. I travel 70 miles to the city to see this therapist... This city person cant wrap her mind around that I own guns and small game hunt.. That kinda triggered her off a bit and I could see that the second session I had with her .
So sometimes culture clash or previous fears and preconcieved notions the therapist has does have a serious impact with how a proffessional treats their clients.


Nora in Colorado

 

[Rob T.]

Hi Responsiblek9,

Thank You for telling me about your experience with your therapist. Hm, yes, I agree, It really stinks to have a therapist decide that the match is unworkable-after a matter of months, which was your case and my case.

In a similar scenario, I've had specialist medical doctors who had strung me along [ I don't use those dr.s anymore].

I guess it is something that I will remember now, that even though they are therapists, they can mess up a job with me just like any other worker that I will meet or work with.

Thank You once again,

Have a Good day,

Rob

 

[responsiblek9]

Rob ,
I did not have to fire her,

I consulted with a good friend of mine who counsels PTSD veterans for the VA and explained to him the problem before i went to see her on these issues. He told me just what to do in confronting her without blaming and said if I did it right I could end up with a therapist who would be for me and not against me as she realized what she had inadvertently done. The OOOPS factor ..

She turned all the way around as he predicted and has been flying right ever since. Talk about one motivated lady!!

If she had not been able to admit and recognize the issues, I would have fired her and hunted for a new therapist. But I was perfectly willing to do so , and she knew it. I dont get attached to a therapist until I have had them a very long time. And it looks like it will work out with this one. But I have had times it did not work out and there were
irreconcilable differences and I fired a therapist. They kinda act like that is something clients are not supposed to do??
Nora in colorado

 

[responsiblek9]

Well the therapist decided to quit today stating she did not know how to work with PTSD and the Fly Phobia issue i have. Been nice of if she had called me and told me rather than having to drive 140 mile round trip to get a "see ya! good luck finding another therapist" speech of 5 minutes.

But good riddance to bad incompetent rubbish at least .

My insurance is not pleased to say the least!!! But they are on the ball to find me a competent therapist now, not like when I started this journey to find a new therapist last year on my own. They agree this therapist I had was just not very suitable for my needs.
Nora

 

[Rob T.]

Hi responsiblek9,

Darn, I'm sorry to hear that your therapist quit-and that you had to drive all that way to have to meet her about it.

Are you doing ok?

 

[responsiblek9]

Not Great. I had an issue i had needed to speak to her about that i have to deal with friday this week. I have to put to sleep an old service dog. And it wont be easy for me to handle . With this new stressor of being dropped it really is just a mess . I just hope thursday my shrink can take some time beyond med management to kinda help me out.
Nora

 

[Rob T.]

Shoot, I'm sorry that things aren't going well. I've also lost pets-that always gets me down.

Will you be able to see a therapist on thursday?

Have a Good Day,

Rob

 

[Deleted member 487]

You know Rob, in my history with counselors I have had some pretty rough times. One counselor wouldn't leave me alone about the sexual assault/rape I experienced. Amazing how some of these people, that actually have master's degrees or even a doctorate, are literally as dumb as they come.

My nightmares about my rape happen when I'm asleep. It has become a lot easier, but if I find a woman worth having sex with, my body subconsciously reacts when she "goes down" on me. Spasming muscles, I'll start shaking, sweating, it's all coming back and going to happen again. So I no longer have sex with women. Even if it's just intercourse. The nightmares come back.

Thanks to a homosexual that felt he had more right to get his rocks off than I did to retain my virginity, I no longer have the right to be happy, to enjoy life, to enjoy love.

The nightmares happen whenever they happen. Now, I can tell anyone about it. I am so numb to other peoples responses, that there is nothing they can do to hurt me. I've already been hurt.

Sorry to hijack your thread, Rob.

 

[Rob T.]

Hi cactus jack,

Please, no problem. hijack away,

No problem. Glad to hear that you feel like telling people about things.

Have a Good Day,

Rob