Hello everyone. I just need to get this out there because I don't see my T until Monday. :) I'm working through emdr for traumas involving a relationship I had as a young adult that involved emotional and sexual abuse. I've been doing really well and starting to live more and more in the present. As some of you know - that seems to be when the weird triggers will hit you the hardest. You think you've remembered everything and wham!
I'm getting a new roof put on my house this week and my roommate called to say one of the roofers was inquiring about an old metal desk in my garage - if he could have it. I said sure! I've been wanting to get rid of it for a while, but it's freaking heavy. I hung up and thought - great - that's one thing off my list! Then, as the afternoon wore on I became more and more anxious and couldn't put a visual to the anxiety.
Later last night I remembered. Back in 1995 my X always wanted to clean everything out of my garage and I told him it was none of his business. Sometime that year I took a trip to California for a funeral. While I was out there my roommate called me and said he had shown up at the house with a bunch of beer and was hauling everything off that was in the garage. Except that desk because it was too heavy for him to do by himself. I was so angry at him. He had no right. I was helpless to stop him. To this day I don't know what I lost in that fiasco.
This morning I was thinking that's also what he did to my life. This was 15 years ago and I'm still struggling today to get back what I lost in that relationship.
I'm getting a new roof put on my house this week and my roommate called to say one of the roofers was inquiring about an old metal desk in my garage - if he could have it. I said sure! I've been wanting to get rid of it for a while, but it's freaking heavy. I hung up and thought - great - that's one thing off my list! Then, as the afternoon wore on I became more and more anxious and couldn't put a visual to the anxiety.
Later last night I remembered. Back in 1995 my X always wanted to clean everything out of my garage and I told him it was none of his business. Sometime that year I took a trip to California for a funeral. While I was out there my roommate called me and said he had shown up at the house with a bunch of beer and was hauling everything off that was in the garage. Except that desk because it was too heavy for him to do by himself. I was so angry at him. He had no right. I was helpless to stop him. To this day I don't know what I lost in that fiasco.
This morning I was thinking that's also what he did to my life. This was 15 years ago and I'm still struggling today to get back what I lost in that relationship.
