Trust Issues

[Holly89]

I agree with the other posters. If you aren't comfortable with your therapist, you should find another. It took a few sessions but I completely trust my therapist, he's amazing. I feel like I can tell him anything and he won't judge me.

 

[fin]

I trust him, but I have bouts of not trusting him and I wonder if he knows anything at all, so I think they are normal fluctuations in the process of healing, he has told me that he is pushing me in relationship to a more functional level so that I can have better relationships, sometimes it seems totally not worth the trip and I feel like quitting, other times I'm immensely impressed that he sticks by me, I'm glad he's there for me and it is only now that I can actually stand up to him and disagree with some things he says, in which case we have to go through an 'interpretation' dialogue which helps the understanding on both sides, he doesn't profess to be an expert which allows me to allow him to rethink some things.

I believe we need to push ourselves and I think a good therapist will help us to push even if we are pushing against them for a while.

It is trust, I believe if we know we can trust the person that is with us through our journey, then we have to KNOW that they are with us, even when we think they aren't. And even when it hurts and we can't understand everything we are feeling, trust will help us know we will get through and manage better. And trust I believe will help us know and perhaps be kinder to ourselves and others also.

Because we will all have days -therapists included- when we might get it wrong and we can't always see the bigger picture, because we can't always work through some of the finer details alone.

And I think PTSD will sometimes keep us in the dark and not let us see the good stuff that may come from some beautiful things that can be scarey for us and maybe dazzle us, and sometimes blind us to some kind truths.

Thankyou for sharing your thoughts here Heather, you have helped dazzle me today :wink:


To peace and kind truth
~fin

 

[heather q]

A Good Experience

I saw my T today, had a lot to deal with, he was really good, gave me some serious information about my original ex, gave me some perspective about the rapes and stalkings and how the men in my life relate to each other, it was amazing, I dealt with so much in the one hour session, had a lot of physical pain and serious nausea relating to the past, I was able to come up with lots of stuff, talk about it and remain somewhat intact, without him there to support me I could not have done it, I didn't dissociate either.

So, I am thankful that I have the opportunity to be respected and treated as a valuable person, I have to say this is my first experience with this and I am beginning to see life in a different way. I'm beginning to lose the suicide option, not really sure that I want to give it up yet, but it is taking a back seat. It used to be on my mind all the time.

I have had times with this same T that I have got frustrated and told him I see no sense in carrying on, so he's seen the worst of me and still accepts me. I do not know anything about him, what was important to me was that I needed to make sure he wasn't going to dump me or lock me up. I think he's really worked hard for me. What matters to me is how he and I relate to each other, I've had therapists that I wouldn't return to for anything, the one that insisted I take drugs, one parroted back everything I said as if she was a tape recorder, but there was nobody really there. Then there was the one that fell asleep, that was very impressive, now, was that about her, or me, that's a tough one...

So all in all I think I was very lucky to have found him, I've been seeing him for about a year and a half so we've covered a lot of ground and developed some trust. Something new to me. It wasn't long ago that I would not have considered getting help, so this is quite something for me. What a turn around.

I just wanted to let you know that I have had difficult experiences but I feel like I'm gaining now, if you are relating well enough then maybe it's a stage, I found that total honesty worked best for me and he also made it clear that I didn't have to talk about anything until I was ready, so I had a little bit of control and didn't feel threatened.

Heather