Trust

[EveHarrington]

That's not what I am saying I have watched people here and seen what is being said and it all sound...

As I suspected we have very different views of trust. Yours is/seems to be an external view of trust i.e. not "trusting" because other people are not trustworthy whereas my view is internal i.e. I don't trust because I have trust issues/am unable to trust.

To me trust is indeed an internal issue. I don't leave it behind when I run away. It's always there with me. So for me it's not a matter of "it's ME/not trust" rather a matter of having integrated the concept of trust into my persona.

I don't believe that chalking a problem up to personal quirks/issues is all that helpful for many of us because it is a de-identification of the true issue at hand.

It's clear I don't fully understand your point of view but from what little I've read about you I am guessing different types of trauma could possibly lead to such different points of view. ie childhood/developmental vs adult.

 

[Mafia_Science]

I tend to trust people unless they give me a reason not to, but of course be situation matters.

I'd trust a stranger to take a picture of me and not steal my phone, but I wouldn't trust a stranger to give me a ride.

I tell myself to trust people, and rely on the natural niceness that people are born with. If you drop something near a stranger, way more chances than not, they'd pick it up for you, right? It's just the natural response to want to help people.

However, I tend to not trust people who have earned my trust enough. Often times, I will flinch at the slightest movement of someone I want to trust deeply, and if offends them as their probably thinking "he thinks I would hurt him." I can't stand people touching my head, stomach, wrist, and especially the neck because they're vulnerable areas that I can easily be hurt, even if I love this person a lot.

Overall, I try to trust people unless they give me a reason not to, but when it gets down to basics, like risk of physical vulnerability, I just can't trust people no matter how hard I try.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

You say you don't trust anyone yet you come here and tell people what's going on in your life what...

Hey, twist, I trust no one, but I can spill my guts here. It's anonymous. No one can ever use it against me.

@FridayJones. I still regard people as allies or adversaries. I don't have a clue how to trust them.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Its simple you are you your problems are you your lack of whatever is you. The hard part is dealing with YOU

PTSD and the ensuing symptoms, problems or concerns are not about what is wrong WITH people "or lack" ...but about what happened to some of us. Trust concerns, crop up for many and are often times addressed in therapy sessions.

Perhaps consider writing in first person...

 

[atwistedfate]

PTSD and the ensuing symptoms, problems or concerns are not about what is wrong WITH people...

Thank you I will try that army breads the we not the I lol

 

[Ronin]

It's anonymous. No one can ever use it against me.

Eventually: Yep, it's anonymous, and that's a challenge in posting things that I either wouldn't mind used against me, or 'well good luck figuring how, dipshit', trust in knowing my recovery & reactions better than let the details shared be useful weapon against me.

Would be an interesting separate discussion, I think - trust as in online media thing, & how it affects our sense of safety & trust building patterns as a whole.

 

[atwistedfate]

As I suspected we have very different views of trust. Yours is/seems to be an external view of tru...

Being in the army I had to trust others if I didn't I would have been killed hell that's what cost me my job In the army couldn't trust my Lt so I did something and well that's another story

 

[Sideways]

@atwistedfate - I think that last post nailed where the disparity might be.

Like you say, you had to learn to trust, or your life would be on the line.

As a CSA survivor, I learned the exact opposite about trust when I was a child, namely: trust someone and prepare to be abused.

The trauma experiences that each of us carry are different, and so have impacted not just our ability to trust, but also the ways that we define trust and what it might cost us to trust v's not trust.

For me, it's a fairly straightforward exercise is negative cognitive distortion (in this case, universalising). Trusting someone who should have been trustworthy burned me really bad as a child, so now the whole world has become largely untrustworthy.

 

[EveHarrington]

Ahhh I believe @Ragdoll Circus explained it quite well.

Trust issues hit from different angles create different outcomes. I'm glad she was able to put my thoughts to words. (Better than I ever could have done----are you a mind reader? Lol.)

 

[Recovery4Me]

@atwistedfate Roger that. Some problems can arise from bad intel, crap gear (made by the lowest bidder) & the superior. Just consider it may not be all you...which will take some unconditioning from basics. One step at a time.

 

[Sideways]

@EveHarrington - I think perhaps I just understand people best when it's 11.50pm local time and I'm struggling to sleep!

 

[oasis2003]

Trust I used to trust everyone but was hurt lots now not so much. You don't need to trust you can treat people with compassion it is their problem not yours. Humanity means people cannot be trusted they have their own agendas. As long as you know that then they cannot hurt you. So no I don't trust but know people are people .