Trusting Therapist

[Alex 117]

I assume others have faced this same difficulty....I'm currently seeing a great trauma therapist..very well-respected and empathetic. However, I find myself unable to open up and discuss childhood abuse or other sensitive issues. How have others overcome this problem?

 

[Bucky'sAngel]

Be patient - it takes time.

For me, I knew when I had found the right therapist, and once I realized I was ready, it was like a snowball rolling down a hill. It was very liberating.

You will get there. . .

 

[safenow]

Just because they are "well-respected by others" doestn't mean you trust them yet. Give yourself some time. I have my own sheet of questions I ask new therapists. If they laugh, don't answer, or think it's a joke, I don't see them again. If they can answer each question, that's a good step in the right direction.

I have a new one (I"ve seen him twice) that I really like, but on my last visit he left me triggered and that is not acceptable. I need to let him know when I see him again.

Anyway, give yourself some time to get to know him/her.

 

[Alex 117]

Thanks to both of you for your responses. I'm so impatient, especially with myself. I have been seeing her for two months now and her demeanor is always kind and empathetic. Rationally, I know that I can trust her (or at least that I'm supposed to be able to trust her) but I just can't feel it yet. And I feel like a failure and a freak because trust is such a basic requirement in order for therapy to work. I suppose I just have to be more patient with myself and with the process, but two months seems like it should be ample time.

I suppose that I have come closer to trusting this therapist than any other, but maybe I'm just not capable of trust in general.

 

[Bucky'sAngel]

Trust is very very hard, and it does take time. A very wise counselor (NOT a therapist) once told me " Value yourself enough to make them prove themselves to you". While the counselor was referring to men in general, I think the words apply to anyone that we allow into our lives.

 

[safenow]

two months seems like it should be ample time.

If you see her several times a week, maybe, but realistically, how often do you see her? One thing that I found helps me, I makes notes during the week or two in-between sessions of what I'd like to discuss. Take it with you, and pick one thing from the list. See how it goes.

 

[Alex 117]

Bucky'sAngel: Those are very wise words....

safenow: I see her once a week. I'll try making notes and see how that goes!

 

[Hashi]

I don't know if you've already been doing this, but something that's helped me is to discuss my concerns about talking about the difficult things. Feeling shame, feeling fear, dissociating, going into denial, anything that I think might happen.

For example, my T and I have decided on ways to do grounding at the end of a session. She knows that I feel a lot of shame and will need reassurance about that. We've talked about coping skills and how I cope outside therapy. We've even talked about what I'll do if I feel sick while I'm in her room. This makes me feel safer, and it gives her a better idea of how to support me.

To begin talking about the trauma, I've always found it easier to read out from my journal or take some art I've done. I find it very difficult to just sit and talk, but if I can read out something I've already written or explain a drawing or collage, it's a bit less difficult.

It can take time to be ready to talk about what happened. Don't rush it if you need longer.

 

[Rumors]

Good luck! I know that is a sensitive area. It is really hard to trust people when your experience has been they are untrustworthy. Hang in there! Give it time.

 

[DharmaGirl]

For the first 6 months, I didn't let my therapist call me by my nickname that everyone uses. I insisted he call me by my given name, since he was a provider and thats what most of them do. I have been seeing him a year and 3 months and I still have trust issues. I quit therapy over and over, but only for a session. I don't know if I will ever learn trust but the way to get well is to keep going. So I do.

 

[VDWngr1355]

I have been seeing my therapist for 1 and a half. I can tell my trust has grown over the last year and a half. But it is still hard. At least I no longer cancel or postpone my sessions and I do talk more in sessions than in the beginning.

Just give it time. Trust takes a lot of time to grow, it isn't instant with us.

 

[Sailorgal]

Trust is difficult with anyone for us with PTSD.

Just start to share what you are comfortable with. It doesn't have to be the whole bomb, just one incident. Having a journey as someone mentioned or a list of some things to read from are good to.