Trusting Your Intuition

[Kubash16]

How do you go at the hair-dresser? I agree with everyone here... too much too soon. But that doesn't mean forever...

I'm glad you cancelled that full body massage appointment... I'd be going for bits and pieces - facials, pedicures, manicures.

They are all supposed to be pleasurable... don't forget that!

Hair dressers I’m pretty much fine with. I just don’t go very often since it’s expensive and I cut my own hair most of the time.

 

[Kubash16]

I dont understand why instead of working on touch with safe people you know, you’re opting for a strangers hands all over your body.

By my way of thinking, this could majorly backfire.

Plus........you’re not actually working on touch within a relationship, which I’m guessing is the bigger problem?

I mean I can zone the f*ck out of stranger touch ie doctors and such, but it does nothing for safe relationship touch.

Because I have no one here to do that with. I live with my abusers. Do not have a close relationship at all with anyone else except my best friend who lives in a different state. Literally have no one here to do that with. Otherwise I would. My brother touches absolutely no one ever (except his daughter) he freaks if anyone so much as brushes his arm. My mother, who I also live with, is the very reason I’m having to do this stuff. Her touch makes me physically sick.

 

[ILoveLife]

I think that's what Eve meant.

Like, your brother and your mother aren't safe people.
So it's fair to say you won't ever be comfortable with their touching.

I agree with the baby steps thing.

 

[Kubash16]

The problem is there isn’t anyone safe here.

 

[ILoveLife]

You'll find safe people.
Baby steps :hug:

 

[TTC18]

The problem is there isn’t anyone safe here.

I know how you feel. Other than kiddo, I don't have anyone I feel is safe except my one friend who is states away. I'd cringe like heck at having to hold her hands, lol, but I would know it was safe.

 

[Kubash16]

I know how you feel. Other than kiddo, I don't have anyone I feel is safe except my one friend who is states away. I'd cringe like heck at having to hold her hands, lol, but I would know it was safe.

See I can do Munchkin and even some of her family but none of them are around here. I thought about brothers ex wife but she and I don’t quite have that kind of relationship. Like she knows the fact that Dan did “something” but doesn’t have a clue the extent or moms involvement. And she’s not a touchy person, even with her kids she’ll hug and cuddle for a minute and then is like okay get away. She doesn’t touch her husband at all except for in pictures.

 

[blackemerald1]

I don't think you have to justify to anyone why it has to be a stranger... that's your prerogative and I am sorry you are residing with the people that caused this problem.

Consult with your T and work out how to approach this from a methodical and incremental angle so each time you achieve contact it builds on the previous experience rather than freaking yourself out.