Trying To Be Grateful, And Failing.

[vikingr12]

Man, I feel like I've been through a firefight reading this thread. Pain and insomnia is heavy on my mind lately since I went back to therapy.

I am convinced that nothing really works. All you can do is follow the rules and suck it up and try not to let it show. The therapist says to embrace the beast rather than fight it. Trouble is, and you guys know this, you never know when a new trigger gets invented or you are just so worn down that anything will cause it. I keep saying if I could just get my energy back. But fighting pain just wears it down.

But I am not going to be some drug addict. And that's the next level with the psych, not the therapist. We are going to have a fight at the next session. Paxil? Wellbutrin? Anyone? Seroguel? That's a whole other roundy round.

Just keep me fed with Ativan and gabapentin and I will do fine. Works for me enough that I can at least suck up the rest of it. OK, I will become an addict. But I won't be stealing things or killing someone to support a habit. I might otherwise. Man, that option seems so easy now, doesn't it? But it really is not, remembereing the past. It's just rage that's all.

It will go away. I think we have to enjoy our episodes of happiness like the good pages in a book. Read them twice if you have to. The bad pages, few or many, you do not read or read and try to laugh. It's better than throwing the whole book away.

 

[JarHed]

I think we have to enjoy our episodes of happiness like the good pages in a book.

Good words Brother. You know that sometimes you just can't see it. Just minute by minute sometimes.

Trying to find and get good sleep can make a huge difference, at least for me. Hard to find sometimes.

 

[Jimmy1]

I have been talking the Jar in a private conversation already Jimmy. If anything, I think we are better off now then before. But I still stand behind the objection to deleting the posts. The resulting one sided conversation really makes me look like an overbearing oaf.

Well Zip, all I can say is thank you for contacting Jar in private rather than it getting out of hand.

The problem with deleting posts is as you said, it makes it look one sided and one person overbearing. Maybe if people would write something small.

You see, as you will understand we sometimes vent on something and then before we press the dreaded Enter key, we decide it is not nice. Once that button is pressed there is no way back but to leave one letter or write something different. I suppose it's a personal choice.

Anyway, thanks for not changing your opinion mate.

 

[Zipperhead]

Today in many ways has been much better than the last bunch. I'll take it. Even after all this time it's still the same, one day at a time.

Jar

I'd like to think that kick I gave you started something there Jar.