Trying To Understand More About Dissociative Disorders. ....scared

[bellat]

Hi all.

Still pretty new here & trying to get an understanding of what feels like I'm slightly crazy. If another person spoke to me about needing support for any mental health issues I would never think or use the word crazy but when related to me I'm at such a scary loss. Going through therapy at present although still pretty new with this therapist. I've been diagnosed with ptsd but also been recently told I dissociate but not been told much of how I do or have clear knowledge of myself in that time. I experience things during therapy but more so gaps/loss of time.

I wanted to ask you all a question; if you have ever dissociated during therapy have you ever felt that suddenly your not sure who your therapist is, what their name is & even unsure of where you are? Or being given something for example my glasses being told they're mine but not believing they are. Sorry if I am not making much sense. The whole thought process of it scares me. Hope to hear from some of you.xx

Bella.xx

 

[KP the nut]

even unsure of where you are

Yes, usually after an EMDR session. That is why it is so important that you trust your therapist and that they ensure you grounding techniques that they can guide you through.

My therapist would never let me leave his room until he was sure I was 'back'. Even then, I had to wait at least 15 minutes before driving home.

 

[bellat]

Thank you for replying. How do you dissociate if you don't mind me asking. How do people actually behave when dissociating? Do any of you know or have only been told by others? If by others how would your therapist describe you in that moment? I'm scared to ask my therapist. X

 

[KP the nut]

How do you dissociate if you don't mind me asking

When I was in his office. I was physically there, but sat very still with blank staring eyes. I would be unaware of my surroundings. My PTSD was triggered by a car crash and all I would be aware of was sitting, crushed in my car surrounded by broken glass with the windscreen and metal pressing against me.

My therapist would talk to me until I could come back to him.

How do you dissociate

When I dissociate, I lose tracts of time just staring into space with my mind usually a complete blank as if someone has flicked a switch which turns me off. I am improving but used to spend hours like that.

I'm scared to ask my therapist.

If you can't tell him, show him what you have written here. It took me a long time to tell my therapist certain things, but once I did I was able to move forward.

 

[bellat]

Thank you KP for your responses. My therapist is female and I do want to be able to talk to her about it but not sure how to.

I felt on Monday when I asked if I did anything and what I was like that she was not telling everything. I am so messed up with all this as it has only just come to my knowledge recently that I dissociate and finding it a struggle to process.

 

[KP the nut]

Just take it slowly - baby steps. I keep a journal and it helps a lot. When I was seeing my therapist, I allowed him to read it as well.

 

[bellat]

Thank you. Yes I have started back up my writing & poetry but a little nervous to share but nothing to lose I guess rather than possibly getting an insight into my thoughts.

Such a hard week & so nervous for my therapy session in 2hrs after last week's of dissociating a lot & not having any knowledge of what the blanks are.