T
thelizardqueen
Hello everyone. I have been recently diagnosed with PTSD. I was the victim of a sex crime four months ago and I have been having a difficult time adjusting since the event. I also have been experiencing a lot of strange behaviors and I would really like to learn what exactly is going on with me so I can learn to help myself. I often feel empty.
Although I have a lot of behaviors which have caused a disruption in my life, I think the worst of it all would be my disinterest in social activities. I do not like to go out and socialize with people that I did not know prior to the event. I have two very close friends, but I do not even see them as much as I should. I have noticed that the thought of social interaction is a physical stressor for me. I often make plans, but then cancel at the last minute with no good reason. I have interest in seeing or dating people, however at this present moment in time, I feel that I cannot due to the fact that I cannot keep plans. Prior to the event, my social interactions were limited, but they were present. I have always had a bit of social anxiety, but nothing that completely interfered with my ability to interact with other. I also have experienced panic attacks in response to the thought dating. One time I had a date with a guy, but I canceled minutes before due to a panic attack. I often feel a separation from my mind and body.
I believe that I often become disassociated with myself. After 8 PM, I feel that I loose track of the entire rest of the night. I often spend the nights reading books and filling myself with knowledge, because it is the only way that I feel ok. I don't really know what I do with the remainder of my evenings.
I also have noticed that I am a very private and aggressive person. I am extremely quick to anger, which is something that interacts with my ability to perform at work. I am a sever, and as we all know sometimes people just say stupid things.
Another thing that I have noticed is strange physical symptoms. Sometimes I experienced an elevated heart rate or tightening of my heart. These symptoms occur sometimes out of know where, but last the remainder of the night. I have also had frightening visual hallucinations and violent dreams. I once had a dream in which I caused the man who committed the crime against me to bleed by throwing a glass at his head. I am also experiencing difficulty staying asleep and fatigue.
The reason that I have come to this forum is because I would like to return to my normal state. I want to be able to enjoy spending time with people and I want to be able to have pleasant social interactions. I have began to see a therapist, but I also feel like I could benefit from interacting with others with PTSD.
Although I have a lot of behaviors which have caused a disruption in my life, I think the worst of it all would be my disinterest in social activities. I do not like to go out and socialize with people that I did not know prior to the event. I have two very close friends, but I do not even see them as much as I should. I have noticed that the thought of social interaction is a physical stressor for me. I often make plans, but then cancel at the last minute with no good reason. I have interest in seeing or dating people, however at this present moment in time, I feel that I cannot due to the fact that I cannot keep plans. Prior to the event, my social interactions were limited, but they were present. I have always had a bit of social anxiety, but nothing that completely interfered with my ability to interact with other. I also have experienced panic attacks in response to the thought dating. One time I had a date with a guy, but I canceled minutes before due to a panic attack. I often feel a separation from my mind and body.
I believe that I often become disassociated with myself. After 8 PM, I feel that I loose track of the entire rest of the night. I often spend the nights reading books and filling myself with knowledge, because it is the only way that I feel ok. I don't really know what I do with the remainder of my evenings.
I also have noticed that I am a very private and aggressive person. I am extremely quick to anger, which is something that interacts with my ability to perform at work. I am a sever, and as we all know sometimes people just say stupid things.
Another thing that I have noticed is strange physical symptoms. Sometimes I experienced an elevated heart rate or tightening of my heart. These symptoms occur sometimes out of know where, but last the remainder of the night. I have also had frightening visual hallucinations and violent dreams. I once had a dream in which I caused the man who committed the crime against me to bleed by throwing a glass at his head. I am also experiencing difficulty staying asleep and fatigue.
The reason that I have come to this forum is because I would like to return to my normal state. I want to be able to enjoy spending time with people and I want to be able to have pleasant social interactions. I have began to see a therapist, but I also feel like I could benefit from interacting with others with PTSD.
