Unbearable Pain

[erikjms]

Erik,

I totally understand what you are saying. And I agree with it. The one thing I know is that I can't understand why in the world God, or Karma, or the Universe would destroy my family like this. So the only explanation I have is that I was a Nazi in my past like. When I think of that I get peaceful.

If it gives you peace, then I certainly won't argue with it.

I'm sorry your family has been or is being destroyed. That must be awful. Life can be unbelievably cruel. I hope that you can find some comfort, whether here or from elsewhere.

Erik

 

[Deleted member 5370]

I'm starting to go to AA meetings and doing the 12 Steps. I'm not an alcoholic but I read this article about applying the 12 Steps to PTSD and it made sense:

http://www.mental-health-today.com/ptsd/12step.htm
http://www.patiencepress.com/samples/3rdIssue.html

 

[Deleted member 5370]

Flashbacks:

I heard of flashbacks of the event but I have flashbacks of my life prior to the event i.e. images of my life prior to when I "died" at 18 flash in my mind like images of a dead son. Have any of you heard of this or have this?

 

[GodSeeker]

Hello Lotsofpain,

Look around you. Everything is subject to birth and death. We all know that but we do not KNOW that. Why should we, humans, be the privileged ones?

I was wondering exactly like you do why to good people happen bad things. But I forgot that all four combinations happen also. Good things to good people, Bad things to bad people and Good things to bad people. Seems like there no pattern or logic in this life.

But then I asked myself another question "Do I knew how many ants do I step every day?" I don't. You may smile :)) Ants die by millions every day because people step over, off course without any intention to hurt. Can we say that ants are bad? And what about millions of people, suffering around the world from famine, abuse, exploitation, wars and just we don't hear from them because they have no voice? and almost all of us do not even know they exist?

We are so trapped inside our own suffering to see other people's.

We all watch on TV how bad are things around the world and we say "God!! Poor people" But somehow we do not accept being those "Poor people" when bad things happen to us. And as long as we live in that denial, that we believe ourselves immunized from being victims we will run away from ourselves because we do not accept nor want this so mutilated self. The world wants us to be happy, smiling, healthy, without problems and when we fail to be that model of life we are in deep sorrow.

But if we try to see, to be with that hurting self, to not deny it then we are part of everything again. We make ourselves back as players of the evolution.

And with that very understanding, I am convinced, by some grace or magic all the burden we have been carrying for so long falls away, vanishes.

The hard part is that understanding.

 

[Deleted member 5370]

"Do not lay up for yourself treasures on earth and moth and rust corrupt and thieves break in and steal." Jesus

"This existence of ours is as transient as Autumn clouds. To watch the birth and death of beings is like looking at the movements of a dance. A lifetime is a like a flash of lightning in the sky. Rushing by, like a torrent down a steep mountain." - Buddha

"Even if you are the most fallen of the fallen, knowing this will enable you to cross over the great ocean of misery." Gita

 

[Deleted member 5370]

I swear if I knew it would be this painful when I was born I would have told God, "No thanks. I'm not interested." In my worse nightmares as a child could I have imagined that I would go insane like this. It's just not worth it. It's too painful. Hell on Earth. Truly Hell on Earth. What's the point? It's not worth it. I had such an amazing life before the trauma struck which makes it all the more painful. Now my whole life is in ruins.

 

[a3a2]

Dear lots,

I have felt that many times, and then at other times I am so grateful to be alive. I hope you can get a break and get a few of those days soon.

 

[erikjms]

Hi lotsofpain,

There are really only two things I know to say in the face of great pain: to try to be as kind to yourself as you can, and that eventually, time will heal you from the worst of it. It may not help much to hear the second one right now, but I know that it is true from my own experience and from talking to others.

In the meantime, though, leaning on other people to the degree that you can might be some comfort. I know that for some that is easier than it is for others; depending on the depth of your loss, it might feel too risky. We're out here, though, for whatever that is worth.

Erik

 

[Deleted member 5370]

Thank you very much

 

[Deleted member 5370]

I found a drug for pain, success.

 

[Farine]

Hello Lots,
I just wanted to let you know I read your posts. Thinking about you, today...

 

[Deleted member 5370]

Thanks Farine!!!!!!!!!