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Uncle Trying to Contact Me

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Kim, so well expressed by yourself. Thank you for that, and I am positive batgirl could see so much in common with your words.

Guilt though is something we can remove only with reason and acceptance. We can't just tuck it away, we can't throw it elsewhere, we can't suppress it, because it simply continues to fuel PTSD, and more often fuel anger, whether at ourselves or others. What we must accept in times such as above, is that we did what we did because we had too for the benefit of ourselves. To remove ourselves from others in order to save ourselves, is not selfish, it is simply called "me time" to put it bluntly. We all need it, and it doesn't have a time limit. What we must do though, is accept that we needed space, regardless of time, in order to get ourselves in order before we could face others again, in this case family.

Their lives continue, just as ours. When tragedy occurs, we cannot blame ourselves because we had to remove ourselves in order to simply survive, to find ourselves, to help ourselves. If we remained to suit others, then no doubt it could be yourself in the grave from suicide, overdose, etc. We could simply be more off a mess than we are today, drugs, alcohol and continueing the abuse cycle. Removing ourselves is not selfish if it is for our own self protection. You shouldn't feel guilt for having to care for yourself, you shouldn't feel guilt for others lives simply continueing on in your absense. All you need to do is ackowledge that others lives continues, and even though you might not get to say goodbye, it is not about time you spend with someone just before death, it is about the memories you share with that person, good or bad, but accept them for what it is, reason the thoughts to logic, and this removes the guilt aspect which feeds PTSD.
 
Oh hey thanks kim. I just realized you commented in my thread. Anthony is right, I definitely relate to what you're saying. Your experience sounds eerily similar to mine, although a longer period of time had elapsed for you. And yes it's super hard to not feel guilty about things. Funny thing is though, if others feel guilty about anything at all, I always tell them not to worry over it. I don't understand why I can't be as gentle with myself.
 
The more you comment on the situation, the more I realize you and I are so much alike. I, too, tell others not to feel guilty about something and then have a hard time being able to not feel guilty in situations involving myself. I was brought up that way...not to feel sorry for myself....to be the martyr...the whipping boy, so to speak. So I am very hard on myself, because as a kid nothing was ever "good enough" and I've carried that with me for 40 years. I just hope it doesn't take me another 40 to get rid of those feelings...

Hope all is well with you today.
 
Yes we are so totally alike kim! Wow. I had a pretty good childhood actually, but I come from a military family and my parents were both deployed at various times... so whenever I complained about something, they would always admonish me with, well you are so LUCKY my girl, you are not being raised in a war zone, pull up your bootstraps, quit whining, etc. So I learned to be tough. I can have a lot of empathy for people here on the board, but I can be doing the exact same thing myself, and beating on myself for it constantly. Ugh, makes no sense. Blame the military I guess lol.
 
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