I just don’t know how to deal with the barriers this has created for me.
Speak to your thesis advisor.
Tell them that you handled your work situation badly, and instead of working out some kind of agreement where you can have access to your thesis materials, you focused on how upset you were that you were fired. See if they can work out some kind of arrangement where you can have access to your materials.
IF they’re able to, it will most likely entail some kind of No Contact Agreement. Meaning that you’d only have access when no one else is in the building, and that if you broke that agreement at any time (including things like leaving notes, or “I just forgot this one thing, let me just dash in and grab/update/whatever) then you would permenantly lose access.
They may not be able to swing it, at all. If so? It’s a hard lesson, but one that happens in life all the time. Projects lose funding, or researchers are fired & lose their research, or a security clearance is downgraded because of some stunt an ex pulled and you’re no longer even allowed in the building much less working on your baby of a project. Sometimes it will be your fault, sometimes someone else’s fault, sometimes no one’s fault. It still leaves the situation to be dealt with.
You may have to move your graduation date, if you have to start a new thesis. And, yes, that can come along with a helluva lot of ripple effect (grad schools, jobs, internships... opportunities that you’ll be heartbroken to miss out on... AND having to reapply for others for the following year, dealing with a gap year depending on when you do graduate / new acceptance dates, etc.). The fallout from this kind of stuff can be huge.
It’s also very, very normal. It happens. In university, in your 40’s with a mortgage to pay and kids in school, right as you’re set to retire & are now looking at having to work 10 more years before you can afford to. Curve balls happen. The brass ring moves. Everything changes.
Learning how to deal with that? Is one of life’s big lessons.
A trick, if you can swing it, is taking everything catastrophic & turning it into an opportunity.
As one example, you had your graduation set for December, and then a series of plans immediately following. You’re now looking at maybe 12-18 months of “what the hell am I going to do with this time?” Semester abroad (if before graduation)? Working for a year to save up buku bucks? An internship? An inpatient trauma unit & 6mo IOP? Peace Corps (if after graduation)? Something else fun/exciting?
You had your path locked in. You knew what you were going to be doing. Now you’ve gotten an opportunity to do things differently. What do you want to do? Helluva lot of possibilities. :D A lot of really exciting ones.... as well as the not exciting not doing any of them, because you’re so miserable about what you missed out on, that you do nothing except regret what didn’t happen. Try to avoid that one. That one sucks. Most of us have done it, at least once, and regret it. So, given the opportunity to lay a new path... what do you want it to look like?
^^^
BIG HINT - Come up with a rough outline of what to do if your thesis advisor can’t get you access, before asking to see if they can get you access. That way, if they say “No. you’re going to have to restart your thesis.” You’ve got a plan in place, and it’s not the end of the world. And if they manage to get access? It’s all that more appreciated / something you’re not going to risk by “just” (saying hello, leaving a note, being in the building for even 2 minutes when your former coworkers are there) anything... That is, unless you like your new plan better than your old one. :sneaky: Then you can save your Big Ask for another time. As you don’t need someone to stick their neck out for you, or bend over backwards to give you a second chance. You’ve already got it handled, and it’s exciting as hell.
