Very stressed to be alone

[hodge]

Hubby's going out of town to give a talk tomorrow and won't be back till Sunday late. I'm already really stressed about it. Before PTSD, I almost looked forward to having the house to myself for a couple of days, but not now. I'm thankful I'm dogsitting and Gunner will be here with me, but I'm still really anxious, even though he hasn't left yet. I will have my long-handled two-pronged garden tool by my bedside and Gunner, who is a great watchdog, but I'm still unnerved. Jeez, I have trouble even when he's gone for a couple of hours in the evening volunteering very occasionally. And my best girl friend is out of town - it's her dog we're sitting. I won't have a car, either, as we only have one. But at least we're close to downtown and I can walk to stores. I have made some plans, such as getting a big pizza tomorrow to eat through the weekend, so I don't have to cook for myself, though I'll have to walk downtown to get it, and visiting a friend with Gunner on Saturday afternoon. But it's the nights that are the worst. I think I'm probably going to be on chat a lot this weekend.

 

[Loris]

It sounds like you have nice plans for the weekend!

Sometimes nights are hard for me too...so I often try to get engrossed in a good movie or a good book....or do some baking...tackle a creative project...call an old friend....anything just to keep me busy and distracted until I am ready to sleep. :)

 

[hodge]

Thank you, Loris. I don't have the concentration to read or watch a movie, that's part of my problem with this thing, but I do think I will try to bake a dog-friendly cake for the dog we're dogsitting.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Like you I used to love having the house to myself and i used to love being alone.

Then my husband got sick for three years and he died. When he died, I was a complete basket case and could not stand being alone at all so I moved in with my daughter and the girls for two years.

When she was getting evicted I moved out because i did not want a eviction on my credit score. Now i have my own apartment and i love being alone, yet there was no way I could do this two years ago.

I am so glad that you made some plans for yourself and I hope you have a good time getting out. Not having a car might make you feel trapped yet you have made plans to walk to places and that is so positive of you.

I saved one of my husbands shirts so I can cuddle it at night when I miss him. Just a suggestion hodge. I wish you the best. You will not always be like you are right now. It sounds like you need to heal some more in this area.

It is good to go ahead and grieve being alone for now.

 

[hodge]

I'm so glad you're able to enjoy being alone again. My husband is 17 years older than me and I dread him going first.

I did talk this over with T on Wed. She reinforced my plans, which helped, and also gave me a good review of coping skills for anxiety. Which I am using! I do have his pillow, so I can cuddle with that.

I'm going to order the pizza soon and walk up and also get some wine to go with it :-). Decided not to make the doggie cake after all, though. Not only is it too hot to have the oven on, but I don't think his mom would appreciate it. She gave me4 plenty of his own treats.

Thank you for your support, gizmo, and sharing your situation. I really appreciate it.

 

[Gadgie]

When my wife passed last November I was write off, I went through what can only be called a suicidal nightmare. It's took me a long time to get used to living alone, as I didn't just lose a wife, I lost my best friend and sole mate.

Yet, I'm beginning to get used to it now, well I have no choice really, I just take it one day at a time, and try to get something positive out of every day.

 

[hodge]

I'm so sorry, Gadgie. My husband is my best friend and soulmate, too. It's really good you try to find something positive every day. I also practice gratitude every day.

Well, just came back from getting my pizza and had a little bit. I'm not hungry, but haven't really eaten all day and one thing that's easy for me to force down is this pizza. I'm sure I'll be snacking on it through the evening and tomorrow.