Vigilance Is A Guard On The Wall Of Traumatic Memory

[BloomInWinter]

Back IN IT all.Freakin.Day.

...and didn't realize it until now.

*sigh.

 

[CraftyCath]

I've been having some intrusive thoughts. I can't tell if they are past memories or if I've made them up - very disturbing and scary thoughts.

Hope you are OK Bloom. Flowers for you...

 

[BloomInWinter]

It's let down a bit...a bit...in my sleep. Though jolting awake many times during the night, then waking at 4:00 and not being able to get back to sleep tells me my system is still in it.

The vigilance doesn't last as long but it is still very hard.

 

[CraftyCath]

I hate the jolting awake thing. Scares me half to death and then, as you said Bloom, you can't get back to sleep. Some days I get frightened to go to sleep and think, 'what's the point.' But I slept well last night apart from hubby snoring and me having to elbow him in the side and turn him over!

 

[BloomInWinter]

I'm still trying...

 

[Abrasky]

Back to the vigilance again! I'm SICK of memory retrieval! It's like tasting another rotten goulash from the buffet of the damned!!!

Booyah.
Well described
When can I go to KFC?

 

[BloomInWinter]

I don't have the energy to keep up the vigilance. WHY....WHEN does it stop DOING THIS to me for DAYS on end?!

I'm sorry for whining. I know we all deal with it.

I don't want even ONE more person to know what this feels like.

 

[Heather]

((((Bloom))))

 

[Iam]

((((Bloom)))) I'm sorry. I know it's exhausting. Hang in there.

 

[CraftyCath]

((((Bloom)))) Just read your post as I've been away for a few days. Can't answer as I'm still going through it myself but ((HUGE HUGS)))) to you.

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((CraftyCath)))))) ((((((Iam))))))) (((((Maze))))) ((((((Heather)))))) ((((((Marie))))))

 

[BloomInWinter]

At least now I can see that instead of days, my hypervigilance goes on alert for hours, and stays on a hair trigger for days.