Sexual Assault Violated

[nothere]

Violated. Assaulted. Exploited. Abused. Used. Invaded. Stalked. Preyed on. Humiliated. Conflicted. Shamed. Watched. Erased. Annihilated. The list goes on.

How can one person, one single human being, cause another to feel all of those things? Who has that much power, that much trust? My doctor.

I was sexually assaulted by my physician. I should have seen it, but I didn't. I knew there was something off about him. No doctor cares about a patient's well-being that much. Or do they? My trust, along with my body, my privacy, and my dignity have been violated.

How does one recover from that?

I joined this forum several months ago, but only now do I feel like I can share something about why I'm here. Mistrust and paranoia can be blamed for that. Also, signing on here used to be really triggering for me. I figure I'll give it a shot…I've already been through the worst. It's time for things to get better.

 

[RussH]

I hope you have reported that Doctor.

 

[nothere]

I hope you have reported that Doctor.

I came forward.

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, how awful! I too hope that you have already or will soon report that Dr. He should be arrested and disbarred from practicing medicine. If you don't act to have him arrested, he will do this to other people and ruin their lives as well.

 

[Intrepid]

Also, signing on here used to be really triggering for me.

Me too. Reading your post was difficult. It reminds me that some things don't go away easy.

 

[nothere]

I didn't come here for legal advice. You obviously don't know the legal system very well, @SheilaKathy, because it doesn't work like that. Maybe in a perfect world, but that's not what we live in. I understand that you're only trying to help, but that doesn't help. I already know all of this and I already said I came forward. Please do not tell me what I need to do.

 

[joeylittle]

@nothere - I'm so sorry to hear about what was done to you. And it probably sounds really strange, but I want to say congratulations for posting this. You said how hard it was, and I can only imagine.

I understand about the feeling of having yourself taken from you.

Letting the thoughts out, especially in some way where others will hear them - whether it's writing here, or therapy, or anything - really will help. You've taken a big step here by starting.

 

[Tinyflame]

I know it's no where the same but I got assaulted at 14 by a DR/ intern-? (not my DR, some guy who just 'walked' in in a white coat). Haven't gone to a Dr barely since (fortunately he got 'interrupted' because I didn't fight back much). Also once dated a Psychologist who told me 'It was my last chance to get out alive" on a highway in his car (no interior door handles), he hated women, including 1st & foremost his mother, & to this day was a total-psycho -one of the worst- looking back. I didn't have the courage to report it but at least I fought back that time (was pretty sure I was going to be a 'statistic'.)

Please go one baby step at a time. Welcome to you.

 

[nothere]

Thanks, @joeylittle. I'm trying to start letting my feelings out, but I'm scared and paranoid. I recognize the paranoia, but I just feel like I'm always on guard with everything I say and do. It's so draining.

I'm really sorry that happened to you, @Junebug. I'm glad you're safe! Thank you for sharing your experiences with me.

 

[Booknerd]

I understand how you feel. I was molested several times by my pediatrician. Every time I had to go, my mother would sit in his office and I was alone with him. when he was done, my mother and him would have drinks. He kept vodka in his water carafe on his desk. My mother thought she was so f*cking special, that he was interested in her. I told her several times and she never believed me. When I finally told my story in group therapy, I felt released.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I know how strong you had to be to come forward and tell your story. You won't be judged here. Gentle hugs to you.

 

[nothere]

I'm so sorry you had to experience that. Thank you for telling me. As much as it hurts to hear about other people going through similar experiences, it's somewhat comforting to know that somewhere out there someone 'gets it'. It's upsetting to hear that your mom didn't believe you, I'm so sorry. Fortunately, I had that 1 person I needed who stood by me through everything and believed me. I don't know what I would have done without her, and she wasn't even family. There are good people out there. :)
Thank you for the welcome, @Booknerd. Hugs to you, too!

 

[Kailani]

I am so...... Sorry that happened to you guys who got sexually attacked by people who call themselves doctors!!!! Unbelievable!!!! Hugs if you accept!!!! I want you guys to have all your dreams come true to overpower all that evil!!!!! So.... Glad you joined the forum and hope you find all you need here and everywhere else!!!! I can't relate to this experience but I sure can relate to ptsd and hope it gets easier for you!