I'm a 20 year old college student, and about 3 months ago I was diagnosed with PTSD.
Sometimes I pretend that I'm fine, however every 3 or 4 days I get an extremely disturbing vivid nightmare with flashbacks and other horrible scenes that make me up confused and horrified. I've had anxiety issues since the 5th grade when the bullying started, and only last year started noticing the symptoms. I'm startled very easily especially if I'm sleeping, and I can't watch horror movies, visit places I've spent a lot of time in the past, and I've cut off tens of people I've met from highschool, and I had to move out of town. I lost many close people to cancer or car accidents or other reasons, and I've witnessed my home country of Syria set ablaze.
These nightmares are not what I am, they're eating me from the inside and making me feel guilty and depressed every morning ,even vivid scenes in my nightmare that are not true.
I can't take any SSRIs as my liver can't metabolize them and I spent a week in the hospital with siratonen syndrome when I did. Does this last forever? And is this causing me to push away everyone who loves me and cares for me? I feel like one day I might break and the darkness from my nightmares and myself will be one.
Sometimes I pretend that I'm fine, however every 3 or 4 days I get an extremely disturbing vivid nightmare with flashbacks and other horrible scenes that make me up confused and horrified. I've had anxiety issues since the 5th grade when the bullying started, and only last year started noticing the symptoms. I'm startled very easily especially if I'm sleeping, and I can't watch horror movies, visit places I've spent a lot of time in the past, and I've cut off tens of people I've met from highschool, and I had to move out of town. I lost many close people to cancer or car accidents or other reasons, and I've witnessed my home country of Syria set ablaze.
These nightmares are not what I am, they're eating me from the inside and making me feel guilty and depressed every morning ,even vivid scenes in my nightmare that are not true.
I can't take any SSRIs as my liver can't metabolize them and I spent a week in the hospital with siratonen syndrome when I did. Does this last forever? And is this causing me to push away everyone who loves me and cares for me? I feel like one day I might break and the darkness from my nightmares and myself will be one.
