My name is Jess and I believe I suffer from PTSD. I have yet to see a therapist regarding my incident (which I am about to describe), but I plan to ASAP. What I've experienced twice this past week is that I wake up in the middle of the night and run to the front door, as if there's someone in my room. Eventually, I calm down (by the time I get to the door) and go back in my room and go back to sleep after turning a light on.
My traumatic incident which I believe sparked this occurred about 4 years ago (I'm 25 now). Basically, I was involved in an armed robbery where I was actually shot at once. I was young and dumb and trusted two people I recently met who I thought were trustworthy (they were the ones that helped set me up). To make a long story short - and to not go into too many details for fear of reprisal - I was able to speed off when I heard they had a gun but I ended up coming back for my "friends." It was when I came back that I got shot at as the assailants tried to enter the car. Thankfully, it missed me completely, but I still remember the hear and smell of the gunpowder. In the end, my "friends" were let go and I didn't end up losing anything other than my piece of mind.
That night, I was barely able to sleep (I wasn't in my own home); waking up every 2-3 hours at any noise. I got up the next morning intent on getting past it all and I honestly thought I had after a few months - the worst months of my life since I was in constant fear of reprisal. However, my ex-partner always told me that I'd shoot up in the middle of the night quite frequently whenever he got up or made any noise and that I'd look around in fear and panic (not saying anything, just with my eyes) and that he'd have to talk me down until I finally went back to sleep. Keep in mind, I was never conscious nor remembered any of these incidents.
Needless to say, they frustrated and scared him a lot and I don't want my next partner to go through that. Plus, I want to be better since that doesn't seem healthy or normal - even if I don't remember it. Other than these incidents, I don't think I show any other symptoms and I don't have any other sleeping issues like insomnia. On a positive note, the two people who set it up are now in jail (for doing the same thing to someone else), so that does give me some solace and peace of mind. FYI, I did not go to the police regarding this and don't plan to.
I mostly just wanted to share my story, but if any of you have any comments, tips, diagnosis theories, I'm open to it :)
My traumatic incident which I believe sparked this occurred about 4 years ago (I'm 25 now). Basically, I was involved in an armed robbery where I was actually shot at once. I was young and dumb and trusted two people I recently met who I thought were trustworthy (they were the ones that helped set me up). To make a long story short - and to not go into too many details for fear of reprisal - I was able to speed off when I heard they had a gun but I ended up coming back for my "friends." It was when I came back that I got shot at as the assailants tried to enter the car. Thankfully, it missed me completely, but I still remember the hear and smell of the gunpowder. In the end, my "friends" were let go and I didn't end up losing anything other than my piece of mind.
That night, I was barely able to sleep (I wasn't in my own home); waking up every 2-3 hours at any noise. I got up the next morning intent on getting past it all and I honestly thought I had after a few months - the worst months of my life since I was in constant fear of reprisal. However, my ex-partner always told me that I'd shoot up in the middle of the night quite frequently whenever he got up or made any noise and that I'd look around in fear and panic (not saying anything, just with my eyes) and that he'd have to talk me down until I finally went back to sleep. Keep in mind, I was never conscious nor remembered any of these incidents.
Needless to say, they frustrated and scared him a lot and I don't want my next partner to go through that. Plus, I want to be better since that doesn't seem healthy or normal - even if I don't remember it. Other than these incidents, I don't think I show any other symptoms and I don't have any other sleeping issues like insomnia. On a positive note, the two people who set it up are now in jail (for doing the same thing to someone else), so that does give me some solace and peace of mind. FYI, I did not go to the police regarding this and don't plan to.
I mostly just wanted to share my story, but if any of you have any comments, tips, diagnosis theories, I'm open to it :)
