Walking Out Of A Session

[Lucycat]

I have never walked out. My therapist comes to my house. I cannot imagine walking out and leaving him in!

 

[Chosen]

@Lucycat, you made me laugh!

 

[p-no]

I have walked out on my therapists more than once. I always went back (for the next session). They were always kind and understanding and each time, the relationship between the therapist and me grew stronger.

I worked with one therapist for six years in total. After the first three I moved away. Years later, I wanted to work more on certain aspects of my traumas and wanted to work with her and contacted her. I moved back for being able to work with that very therapist. At the first session I expressed my gratitude towards her for simply saying "yes" for me to return, with no waiting times, etc. She responded that a child needs to make the experience that they can come back again and again and again and that the mother is always there with open arms. That that creates trust and confidence in self and others. (Makes me cry a little remembering this.) I have never had such a mother and had never made the experience of someone being there with open arms welcoming me back. It was very moving and healing. I wish for a similarly positive experience for you.

 

[GWhizz]

I tried to leave my session yesterday, but my T talked me down and I'm really glad I stayed. It was really hard as I had a flashback there and wanted to be alone. But making sure I was calm before I left was really important. I know what it feels like to have this rash impulse to leave and get as far away as possible. But I finally realise that this is a lifeline literally. Had I just left I would have probably done something drastic.

This was my 1st time having a flashback in therapy too. It's so overwhelming. I hope you're feeling okay now

 

[Justmehere]

I want to walk out of therapy often - even when I really know my therapist is safe. Therapy about trauma is hard!

My trauma therapist told me once that when she started her own therapy, SHE actually walked out of therapy herself.

I think it's quite common for all types of therapy and decent therapists understand and don't take it personally.

I have talked with my therapist at length about what happens if I do walk out, have a flashback, broke down crying or in a panic attack, or if I even end up mad and yelled at her. (I was trying to think of every ear I had.). She explained to me what she would do in all those cases. It was so helpful and made it much easier to take the next steps forward on therapy.

 

[ButterflyBean]

I have talked with my therapist at length about what happens if I do walk out, have a flashback, broke down crying or in a panic attack, or if I even end up mad and yelled at her. (I was trying to think of every ear I had.). She explained to me what she would do in all those cases.

@Justmehere - if you don't mind me asking, what did your therapist say she would do? I'm not necessarily afraid of walking out, as I'm in a wheelchair, and would need help opening the door if I really wanted to leave, but I am afraid to break down and cry or have a panic attack. I've gotten angry, but she knows the anger is not directed toward her but the situation at hand most of the time. I'd be interested to know how your therapist would handle these situations.

 

[Suzetig]

@holly I spent the first four months of therapy in tears - not the "a bit teary eyed as you talk things through" kind of tears but proper sobbing, gulping barely able to speak tears. I also had a full on emotional flashback - shame, fear anger and unable to communicate or ground myself type thing.

In all of it my therapist has sat with me, tried to check in with me and acknowledged how much pain I was in. At the end of session she made sure I was well grounded and able to drive - which has meant going well over our time together a number of times. She's also at times spoken of being able to feel how sore things are for me and been very honest that times she wished she could rescue me from it all, while know she can't and even if she could, it wouldn't be an answer for me. I'm starting to feel more settled both in daily life and in therapy but I absolutely couldn't have got through those early months without her support and acceptance. Her care for me at that time is something that I know will stay with me forever.

I don't know if any of that helps. I never really had the fear of breaking down thing because by the time I took myself into therapy I was already broken but I can understand why you might feel anxious about it. What I'm finding now, is that having been so incredibly vulnerable at the beginning, I'm struggling with the work we need to do now because it feels important to me to feel more "together" and less vulnerable but we also have some pretty deep work to do...

 

[Justmehere]

- if you don't mind me asking, what did your therapist say she would do?

In a nutshell, listen, talk through it, stay with me until I was fully present in this moment (like in the case of a flashback or dissociation) and do things to ground or let myself experience the feelings in a safe place. She even described specifics things she has said when others get upset. We talked through what would trigger me more and what wouldn't. (This is highly individual)

I could tell just by the way she talked about it that she was quite unphased and almost expected these kinds of things to happen when dealing with trauma. It's kind of par for the course. It's awful to go through as the client, but it's the job of therapists to deal with just this kind of stuff. Therapists signed up for this kind of work.

I've yet to actually have any full blown panic or flashbacks in her office, but it all has happened on the phone and it was so helpful up experience her safe steady self with me through it.

Somehow, just knowing what she would do helped me feel so much more safe with her in person too.

I hope you ask your T what she would do. She sounds like a good T.

 

[Nighthawk]

I walked out of session today not sure I am going back

 

[Saria]

@RaiseYourGlass I have done this as well. Once, with my last therapist. He acted pretty much like yours, just said that it was 100 % my choice, that he would be there if I changed my mind, and that he hoped I would come back to our appointment the next week.

I love my t and she's really good at making me feel safe but that was my first flashback in her office and it wasn't even that bad so now I'm worried if I talk more about the details and have a bad flashback I might really get up and walk out.

Talking about it with your therapist would be a good start, and maybe going through some grounding techniques as well? That helped for me at least, and I haven't left a therapist's office since, so fortunately doing it once doesn't necessarily mean you'll do it every time something gets too overwhelming.

 

[ButterflyBean]

@Nighthawk what happened? I'm glad to listen if you want to talk...feel free to PM me if you like as well. Hugs if you want/need them!

 

[Nighthawk]

Were to start I am in a big hole. yesterday really roke the camels back and was having very sever suicidal ideatiom. Went in very lost very angry and said tha I disd not think my skills were strong enough and that I was not doing well. T said that that was escapisim and I said that I am getting closer every time. T said thats your choice. the other thing that happened is her continually turning my statmen ts int o a question. It seemed very therepy 101 to me. So I stoped talking. Several min latr told her I had NO idea what we could talk about as she was sitting with her arms crossed not saying a word I just got more enflamed with anger. Her response was that nothing she was saying was being helpful so why shoukd she talk.

I am so infuriated I cant even tell you Why the hell when I am already in this bad place when I really need help do I need that kind of shit. Secondly I wasted my time money and energy getting there. Told her I needed help and did not know if I would be there to have a staribg match. And got my dog and left.