Want To Find A New Therapist But I'm Scared To?

[Justmehere]

Can you write down a summary of your history too? I think that is probably just as important than the list of symptoms.

I'm really glad you are seeing another doc.

Sometimes doctors of all kinds get leary of well meaning patients who come in with a list of symptoms and a diagnosis they think fits best. It's dumb doctors get dismissive of those patients but I have seen it happen to people with very valid medical and psych problems. I absolutely believe it's in the patients best interest to bring in notes of symptoms so they can best inform the doc, but some docs take it really weird. Usually they are a bit full of themselves, and it's time for a new perspective!

I really hope it goes well!

 

[Vulnera_Sanentur]

I obviously don't know exactly how you feel, but as a teenager I was generally in a similar position to what you are describing. I am not sure what kind of health care you have, and it's not my place to ask something like that about you, but if you really feel there is something wrong, you might have to be a little bit proactive about choosing your own therapist, if you have the opportunity to do so.

I'm not sure how long you have been seeing your current therapist - for me, if I have been seeing them several months and still do not feel about 80-90% comfortable with them, then that is a problem. Again this is for me, specifically; everyone is a little bit different. I would suggest writing down something to bring up what you want to talk about, printing it out (or handwriting it, printing something out is usually easier for me) and bringing it to your next session. If that doesn't work, and your healthcare permits, I would suggest trying to find a psychologist in your area. Usually an internet search on google will yield pretty good results, sometimes even with ratings.

Again, I can't tell you what to do, but this is what works for me personally. I hope things get better for you, and even if you don't feel supported by others, know that everyone here supports you and is here for you.

 

[Bedbug]

Your history doesn't need to be a whole autobiography. Mine was something like: "I was sexually abused by an aunt for around a year when I was eight years old." That was it. No details. The rest of what I wrote was about how it had affected me and what my symptoms were. I didn't mention PTSD. I didn't know what it was.

My doctor was really grateful. He said I wasn't the first person to do this and he wished more of his patients would do it. It made his job - helping me - much easier.

 

[TimeToHeal]

Hi @Liana. This sort of touched a nerve with me....I spent many, many years being dismissed as a "bad kid," or "out of control teenager," etc. I'm in my 30's now and it was only about 5 or so years ago that my life history and such was FINALLY assessed appropriately and diagnosed with PTSD.

I commend you for recognizing the ways your feeling and your symptoms as "not normal," and seeking help. I'm so sorry that you have not yet found someone who will listen and actually HEAR you. But please, DON'T GIVE UP! You are worth it!

I'm not too familiar with the healthcare system where you live so cannot suggest anywhere specific, but please keep trying. I understand how difficult it is to talk about the things we have been through, but I hope you will be able to find a way, even if that means not going into details at first, or with everyone.

I'm sorry I can't be off more help, but I wanted to tell you there IS help out there and eventually someone WILL listen to you, so please don't give up until you find the help you so need and deserve!

 

[DharmaGirl]

@Liana, when I first went to a therapist, it was for chronic pain. It was part of a pain program. I did not remember any abuse from my childhood. (I was 52) The therapist could tell from my symptoms that I had been abused. So you see, you don't have to tell them much and they will still know there is something wrong. Good luck to you, you have the power to make your life better now, instead of waiting until you are middle-aged like me. Hugs to you

 

[Powder]

Liana,

I hear that the supporters in your life are afraid of your being diagnosed with anything. In fact, they'd prefer it was garden variety depression than PTSD. But you feel that you've been holding back the full reality of what you are dealing with and avoiding dealing with inside, so they really don't realize the sum total of the effect it is having on you. Is that accurate?

When you write "I find it impossible to even think about what happened never mind talk about it or write it..." I feel you have what I have, PTSD, unless the trauma just occurred, in which case PTS.

Please keep trying to get that accurate diagnosis and best treatment, regardless of how unable to talk about it all you feel right now. That will change. You are already able to express so much. You are doing great. No, you are not over-reacting at all to want to get this processed. You need a trauma trained therapist, and your well-meaning supporters can also be trained a bit in how to understand your symptoms and how they can best support you.

 

[Liana]

Thank you all, I really appreciate the amount of advice I have been given.

Just a little update, I guess. Good news, I talked to my boyfriend in the last couple of hours whilst he was here and he's being extremely supportive now after I explained to him how bad it was. We've made a plan for me to go to my next appointment with my therapist - he still doesn't know about my doctors appointment but I'm just going to see how that goes on my own. If neither the doctors or the therapist work we're going to talk about going private and finding someone who has experience with trauma and such. He (coming from a more 'well-off' family than mine) is offering to help pay for it, so he's being very supportive now and wanting me to get help. Which is awesome, I don't feel as alone. My mum however, is still the same.

I guess I will go to this doctors appointment, see how that goes and go on from there. I'll write my symptoms down and a couple of lines just saying what happened, briefly and hopefully that should be enough. I am feeling quite good now, all you're advice, plus the support from my boyfriend has made my day. It's nice to know I'm not alone with the whole not being able to speak about past experiences/nervous and stuff. So thank you all! :)

 

[Bedbug]

I'm glad we could help. I've been given so much by the people on this forum, it's nice to think I've been able to give a little back.

I'm really pleased you were able to explain things to your boyfriend, too. And what a fantastic reaction from him!

 

[TimeToHeal]

That's great news @Liana! So glad things are moving forward and looking up for you!

Good luck tomorrow! :)

 

[Echo]

Fantastic! Well done for reaching out. And I'm so pleased that your boyfriend loves you enough to listen properly and can help you.