Wanting A 'pause' Button On Life

[cherryblossom]

Definitely, you need to be laying down boundaries with everyone who demands your time. With toxic people (your parents), you should probably be quite strict, like you said

I think I shall send everyone who usually contacts me, making demands of me (mum and dad) a text saying that I'm fine but I won't be answering my phone for a day or two.

But with people you are closer with, perhaps tell them you will contact them daily, or whatever suits. The people that love you will worry about you - it's tough on them too. So I think a compromise of a brief text, or phone call during isolation could help.

You are entitled and allowed alone-time. But you can make it less stressful all round by drawing clear boundaries with those who make demands on your time.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Thanks CB. To be honest, the people I'm close to, I don't actually mind being around. It's just that when my parents are messing everything up, I'd rather be alone than snap at Dec, or Nan etc.

 

[ms spock]

Are you seeing a therapist Ice Fire? Or can you see someone experienced in elder care Ice Fire?

Dealing with your parents/abusers is tricky.

You do have choices though? Even you have choices about their lack of local social support and their deafness. Your parents have chosen a life style that means that they have little social support at this time of their lives. They have also made choices about getting help about their deafness as well. I am making (perhaps an unfair judgement here) as I have watched abusers/parents chose options to try to manipulate their abused offspring to be in their lives a lot more than they want to or are emotionally able to manage.

I don't know what resources are available in your community. But in Australia there are a range of elder care services such as Homecare, Aged Care Services, Respite Care, Daycare, Advocacy groups, Meals on Wheels etc etc some of these cost a nominal fee. So perhaps start researching what is available and attending a couple of carer's groups to start to get the low down on what is available could be useful.
You can get your parents hooked up to local services through local health or community centres and if they chose to use the services that is up to them, but you don't have to keep catering to their needs and being controlled by them through their learned helplessness. You may be able to get extra support through telling them you have PTSD and that your parents trigger and upset you. Getting them signed up to the system and obtaining a case worker or an advocate could be really useful as you can ring them when your parents ring you and things can be arranged.

The other thing is you can restrict your parents/abusers ringing except for two hours per day.

You could limit seeing your parents/abusers to one or two days per week. You have the choice to have what you feel you need to do for them in a concentrated time frame.

Having parents/abusers crazy making in your life each day really slows down the healing process so setting boundaries, as you are able, will be crucial.

I wish you luck, persistence and determination. You are in a difficult situation.