Catlovers141
Confident
I'm almost 30 years old and grew up having a difficult relationship with my mother, and no other mother figures growing up. My mother was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive and generally showed very little warmth.
I notice that ever since I was a child I would find women who were about my mother's age and become very emotionally attached to them, even if they did not seem to reciprocate. I feel almost a compulsive-feeling urge to be very physically close to them, hold their hand, etc. Not in a sexual/romantic way, but more of a mother and young child way.
Right now I am looking at houses and have been having these kinds of feelings for my real estate agent. I notice wanting to look at houses that I have no interest in, just so I can spend more time with her and feel that comfort. I know that I mean no harm and all of my feelings are childlike and innocent, but I feel creepy when she's trying to show me a place and one of my main concerns is being close to her. It's hard for me to admit this here.
I won't violate people's boundaries -- if anything, if I find myself feeling these things for someone I stand farther away from them so I don't risk myself feeling like inching closer. But it's so difficult. These things feel both comforting and painful. It is comforting to be around maternal energy but so painful to have it be mostly unaccessible, and to be judging myself for it.
Anyone else have these kinds of experiences, or know of how to cope with some of these feelings?
I notice that ever since I was a child I would find women who were about my mother's age and become very emotionally attached to them, even if they did not seem to reciprocate. I feel almost a compulsive-feeling urge to be very physically close to them, hold their hand, etc. Not in a sexual/romantic way, but more of a mother and young child way.
Right now I am looking at houses and have been having these kinds of feelings for my real estate agent. I notice wanting to look at houses that I have no interest in, just so I can spend more time with her and feel that comfort. I know that I mean no harm and all of my feelings are childlike and innocent, but I feel creepy when she's trying to show me a place and one of my main concerns is being close to her. It's hard for me to admit this here.
I won't violate people's boundaries -- if anything, if I find myself feeling these things for someone I stand farther away from them so I don't risk myself feeling like inching closer. But it's so difficult. These things feel both comforting and painful. It is comforting to be around maternal energy but so painful to have it be mostly unaccessible, and to be judging myself for it.
Anyone else have these kinds of experiences, or know of how to cope with some of these feelings?