Poll Was Anybody Convicted For Crimes Against You?

[oMETALo]

I reported him because I found out about him abusing someone else. Kept quiet for 10yrs.

The other person retracted her statement, so in the end it was my word against his.

I was warned beforehand (I'm in the UK) that the conviction rate is very small and he walked away free after I spent 2 weeks in court reliving the nightmare. Not once did I look in his direction.

Now I wish I'd never come forward. My mum now is suicidal because she let him into our lives. I would rather it just be me suffering.

*Apologies for the lack of paragraphs. I'm using my phone and find posting difficult. The page is behaving strangely.*

 

[Lucycat]

Now I wish I'd never come forward. My mum now is suicidal because she let him into our lives. I would rather it just be me suffering.

You did not have the outcome you wanted. But please do not regret it. This case came to trial because people believed you. They will now be watching the abuser. You may not have got justice, but you might have prevented a crime against another.

I am sorry that your mother is not coping with this - but that is not your fault. I hope she and you are both able to access the support you deserve.

 

[oMETALo]

Thank you Lucycat.

I know your right. Today has been tough and I'm being hard on my self.

I've been referred for cbt and emdr therapy. I've spent all my adult life feeling like this and never asked for help before. Ridiculous how long I've suffered.

 

[Lucycat]

Now I wish I'd never come forward. My mum now is suicidal because she let him into our lives. I would rather it just be me suffering.

You did not have the outcome you wanted. But please do not regret it. This case came to trial because people believed you. They will now be watching the abuser. You may not have got justice, but you might have prevented a crime against another.

I am sorry that your mother is not coping with this - but that is not your fault. I hope she and you are both able to access the support you deserve.

Thank you Lucycat.

I know your right. Today has been tough and I'm being hard on my self.

I've been referred for cbt and emdr therapy. I've spent all my adult life feeling like this and never asked for help before. Ridiculous how long I've suffered.

 

[Lucycat]

Ridiculous how long I've suffered.

Not at all. It was 40 years from when my abuse started to when it went to court. Time means nothing. You just have to do what you can when you can!

 

[Taylor30313]

I'm in the process of reporting. And it scares the sh.t out of me. :spitdummy::nailbiting:

 

[Hashi]

@Taylor30313, sending you strong and supportive thoughts.

 

[Spiderallis]

A few things didn't get reported because I wasn't exactly following all the laws at the time myself. I didn't file any reports or contact authorities about my ex-husband. It would have made things worse in so many ways. At the time I was mostly concerned about protecting my father-in-law. I loved my ex's father, he would have gotten stuck paying bail and dealing with the legal troubles.

 

[Madhather]

As a child the web I was tangled in was one of what happened in the family stay in the family. Two of my abusers ended up in prison for drug trafficking and murder. The domestic abuse that happened to me as an adult was reported but never acted on until he almost killed me. He received a slap on the wrist, fine and time served, after our divorce he moved across country but I still fear him.

 

[Taylor30313]

@Hashi Thank you :)

 

[Notsowild]

Mine is a long story

I went to the police and told them I was being sexually abused. I was 15. My mom left my dad and took my 3 younger sisters. I was sent to a foster home. That night the foster father tried to rape me:( It was crazy!!! I thought " Are all guys this way " Is it me" The next day I was sent to another foster home in another city

So after awhile my family particularly my brothers kept trying to get me to drop the charges. They'd say things like:
"Dad would get beaten up in jail"
"He'll change and go to counselling"
"You'll break up the family"

So I dropped the charges and we all went home one big happy family NOT

He started back up almost immediately so I left and when back to the foster home.

But I took him to court again to get my younger sisters removed from there. They took one sister away but left the youngest one ( she has cerebral palsy) I was mad and so was my sister because now there was none of us there to protect her!!!

The court system and child welfare definitely failed us:(

 

[WendyA]

I never reported anything about the SA because I was told that my mother would blame me and think I initiated. I was 7 when it started so I also don't know that I fully realized it was a crime and that there could potentially be consequences for what he did. The other incident when I was 13, I never told anyone about. I mentioned once that it happened, but it wasn't until a few months ago that I really told someone. I don't think I thought of it as a crime really. I just thought it happened and that was par for the course in my existence.