Weightlifting?

[formicism]

Heyo all,
I'm pretty interested in hearing of other people (habitual lifters- powerlifters, bodybuilders, etc.) have had issues continuing to lift after the PTSD kicked in. I used to be *built*; I worked out three/four times a week with a focus on strength, and it made me feel awesome-- powerful, strong, capable. Ever since the PTSD started I've been unable to maintain my old schedule, largely because the physical exertion ended up bringing up a lot of emotional stuff as well. Not triggering exactly, but definitely breakdown-like emotional stuff. It took all the fun out of it, and it's really just not dignified to cry at the gym. Plus it messes the hell with my focus, and my form suffers, and basically lifting just sucks now. I've been doing yoga in the interim and I've tried a couple times to ease myself back into a regular rotation at the gym, but inevitably after a good workout or two I'll have one that makes me feel terrible, and then I hold off for a while. I can kind of predict when a workout is going to bring things to the surface, which simplifies the gym/no gym choice on any given day, but here's my question: how the heck do I get through this? I miss feeling strong, I miss feeling like my body is super boss, and most of all I miss feeling empowered by my workouts. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar? How did you adapt?

 

[Whyteferret]

I find I'm moody after some workouts. If I'm tired or just stresse too much before I go.
I'm more into strength training to supplement running though.

I usually use the resistance bands at home on bad days.

The only idea I have is to have an exit plan. Do what you can and leave or take a break when you "trigger." Or try to work through it.

Do,things like meditation or mindfulness help?

 

[formicism]

Hah! sorry, I gotta laugh... I can't meditate to save my life, and as for mindfulness, I'm pretty so-so at it. Whether or not I accept my thoughts, feelings and sensations during a period of psychological difficulty, that doesn't make them any easier to work through.

I guess I also should have been more specific: workouts don't trigger anything in particular; it seems more that the intense physical exertion diverts energy away from maintaining subconscious walls, resulting in the release of non-specific but very intense upset. When I try to work through it, I still can't concentrate fully on the physical mechanics of the lifts, which results in poor form, which essentially defeats the purpose of working out in the first place (and is also extremely undignified).

You're point about the exit plan is a smart one-- I should come up with something and try again. I'll keep the thread posted if I have any success!