Well Here Goes...

[dutchiedelta]

As far as guilt, that is just part of the raw deal but you should take your 70%. You earned it. The "beast" (PTSD) is a permanent combat wound and it will roll over on you as your get older. You may learn to live with it but you need to give yourself credit, as in the pain and complications it will cost you over a lifetime, and not just you, there are secondary PTSD effects on those like your family.

Spock is right. I mean this most respectfully and not to discourage anyone but...
None of us know how bad or how good it may be in future. Most of us seem to have cycles of increased PTSD activity and calmer times.
Just in case it *might* get rougher, you might need that 70%
But that's only my zwei pfennig worth.