D
Deleted member 28403
So, for the past few years I've been the front. The one in charge. Mainly. And to that I can say, I'm quite a workaholic one. So, I've been working as much as possible at all sorts of stuff for the past, uhh, all the time I could.
And for the past few months I've been delaying making a thread here, though I sorta wanted to. Never felt enough, and probably won't ever. But hey, here is the thread.
I am not sure how to structure it though, there is a lot of stuff. So I guess I'm just gonna randomly order it as stuff comes to my mind.
Uhh, so for one, I now have a thick stack of all sorts of diplomas and certificates from competitions up to whole country level in different subjects. Mainly STEM areas. Physics, biology, chemistry, mathemathics, programming, I even forgot some of the stuff I competed in, because of how much there was. I was among the top in the country in many of these, and that sorta led to me participating in some science olympiads. I'm not gonna do that again next year, because, hell, this was exhausting. But just thinking about not working as hard next year makes some part of my mind hate me and start bugging me about it :(
So yea, the academic stuff and that... Other than the sorta normal competitions, I also participated in IJSO and EUSO, both science olympiads. Won The Silver Medal in IJSO and a Bronze Medal in EUSO, mainly sattisfied with that, but some part of me hates me. I really don't like thinking about academic stuff, brings bad thoughts to my mind. Gonna stop now.
So, onto other stuff... Well. I thought I got better since lets say a year or two ago... But in comparison, not really sure I can say I did.
I found some old pictures from about a year ago, and comparison showed that other than aging, my pecs might be a bit bigger now... THat would be the majority of physical change. And some beard growing.
Now for PTSD symptoms... Well, I thought I stopped with waking up to panic from nightmares, but not so much. For some time it stopped, and I managed to even partially forget about it, but past few weeks, it came back. Though not as severe as before, e.g., before I would wake up to several hours of panic and wasn't completely capable to get out of the nightmare for half a day. Now it's more like half an hour of panic and an hour or so of wondering if that nightmare is real and doubting everything in existance and being hypervigiliant.
Depression... Well. I haven't had a suicide attempt in some time now, but that sorta stuff just fluctuates around the year. So, not really a thing to be measured right. Not much getting better in that, but medications help a bit.
Anxiety.... Uhh. I guess a bit better in coping, but mainly getting worse. So I guess an arms race with anxiety getting tougher.
I learned to play an aditional instrument though, this dulcimer thingy, that a lady on a plane gave me because she liked me... Interesting
Also got a job, at a CNC workshop, for making all sorts of special parts for machines, using fancy equipment I don't really know names in english or is too generic. (How can you call so many things "a mill"?)
Oh yea, I also finished the school year with an A, and missed about 2/3s of school hours.
The library 3d printing project is doing well, currently working on branching out a thing on that. For educating middle and high schoolers (as the project for educating younger ones is done now and just running)... Thats gonna be a bit tougher though
I guess that is it, my tired brain cannot think of other stuff right now
And for the past few months I've been delaying making a thread here, though I sorta wanted to. Never felt enough, and probably won't ever. But hey, here is the thread.
I am not sure how to structure it though, there is a lot of stuff. So I guess I'm just gonna randomly order it as stuff comes to my mind.
Uhh, so for one, I now have a thick stack of all sorts of diplomas and certificates from competitions up to whole country level in different subjects. Mainly STEM areas. Physics, biology, chemistry, mathemathics, programming, I even forgot some of the stuff I competed in, because of how much there was. I was among the top in the country in many of these, and that sorta led to me participating in some science olympiads. I'm not gonna do that again next year, because, hell, this was exhausting. But just thinking about not working as hard next year makes some part of my mind hate me and start bugging me about it :(
So yea, the academic stuff and that... Other than the sorta normal competitions, I also participated in IJSO and EUSO, both science olympiads. Won The Silver Medal in IJSO and a Bronze Medal in EUSO, mainly sattisfied with that, but some part of me hates me. I really don't like thinking about academic stuff, brings bad thoughts to my mind. Gonna stop now.
So, onto other stuff... Well. I thought I got better since lets say a year or two ago... But in comparison, not really sure I can say I did.
I found some old pictures from about a year ago, and comparison showed that other than aging, my pecs might be a bit bigger now... THat would be the majority of physical change. And some beard growing.
Now for PTSD symptoms... Well, I thought I stopped with waking up to panic from nightmares, but not so much. For some time it stopped, and I managed to even partially forget about it, but past few weeks, it came back. Though not as severe as before, e.g., before I would wake up to several hours of panic and wasn't completely capable to get out of the nightmare for half a day. Now it's more like half an hour of panic and an hour or so of wondering if that nightmare is real and doubting everything in existance and being hypervigiliant.
Depression... Well. I haven't had a suicide attempt in some time now, but that sorta stuff just fluctuates around the year. So, not really a thing to be measured right. Not much getting better in that, but medications help a bit.
Anxiety.... Uhh. I guess a bit better in coping, but mainly getting worse. So I guess an arms race with anxiety getting tougher.
I learned to play an aditional instrument though, this dulcimer thingy, that a lady on a plane gave me because she liked me... Interesting
Also got a job, at a CNC workshop, for making all sorts of special parts for machines, using fancy equipment I don't really know names in english or is too generic. (How can you call so many things "a mill"?)
Oh yea, I also finished the school year with an A, and missed about 2/3s of school hours.
The library 3d printing project is doing well, currently working on branching out a thing on that. For educating middle and high schoolers (as the project for educating younger ones is done now and just running)... Thats gonna be a bit tougher though
I guess that is it, my tired brain cannot think of other stuff right now
