Well Meaning Family

[anonymous]

God bless my family. They are amazing. They are trying so hard and I can tell they are getting worn out but I don't have the answers right now. Everyone seems to have an answer but me.
Maybe your meds aren't working? Maybe it's this.... maybe it's that... I'm just so tired of trying to figure it out every day.
It's so hard to talk to someone who doesn't have it. I get it. I'm trying. Today I did 3 things more than I did yesterday. My brain feels fried.
I know we all live in a real world and have to function. I've been doing more than my fair share for over 40 years, but right now I simply can't be who I was.
How do you all deal with it? I know I have to once again become a contributing member of society and my family. Every other time I've gotten knocked down I've gotten back up and was moving. This time I'm not. It is so darn slow.
I don't know what to tell them anymore. I'm not trying to be a burden. I'm trying to keep to myself and just deal.
Am I frustrated with them or just with myself? Sorry...... I have no one to talk to about this who isn't family or friend and I just need to get these things out.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

God bless my family. They are amazing. They are trying so hard and I can tell they are getting worn...

I am kind of going through this too, so I get it. I'm sorry you're going through it too.

I think if you're having such a hard time may be give yourself a break. Spend some time with yourself. Try to figure out things, whether that means just taking a walk thinking, or figuring out what is good in your life and what you want to change, or just spending a day doing nothing...

With what we go through I think there are times when it just hits you and you have to just sort of wait it out. It doesn't necessarily change no matter what you do. So just take extra time. Feel happy for what you can do.

I know how hard it is when you have well-meaning people surrounding you and you want to do the things they do, show them you are all
together...but sometimes that just adds pressure. And makes you feel guilty for all you can't do at certain moment. So may be take some time, take care of yourself, find ways to get yourself better. Your family will still be there.

 

[BlueOrange]

It's all good. Glad you posted this.

I find my own problems really difficult to talk about, so I tend to spend most of my time writing replies to other people that aim to be helpful.

So, I imagine that (from your perspective) I might look like I'm coping really well; I certainly talk a good game! Meanwhile, I'm envious of the fact that you're actually talking about your own problems and expressing the pain.

 

[Hope69]

I sent my mom some info about how PTSD effects the brain, and how literally the brain is not functioning. It can also be helpful to send an article on "how to support someone with mental illness or PTSD"
Aside from that, the most painful side effect of PTSD is not feeling myself, not being able to connect with the enthusiasm , productivity, and creativity that I have when my brain is more "normal"
Understanding the biological reality helps soften blow a bit. Its not who I am, its my body being over loaded and I can only do my best to help the healing process along.
Hang in there, you are not alone!

 

[Intrepid]

I don't have the answers right now.

My cousin gives me unhelpful advise about everything, not just PTSD type issues. I got short with my son last week for telling me how to work my smart phone. Do these people think I'm incompetent? I don't think so. It's just their way of feeling important. They want to matter. As far as my PTSD goes, they don't matter. They don't have the answers. It's just their way of feeling important.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think that first and foremost, it's important to remember that your family is pretty darn awesome.

There are so many people who don't have familial support.

Is your family perfect? Do they know the right things to say?

Heck no!

But, the truth is that nobody ever knows the right thing to say.

I think that being open and honest is the key. Find information to share about PTSD so that they can understand.

Even if they say the wrong thing, try to turn it around. If they mention that your meds might not be working, you could tell them that your meds have been helping, but medication is not expected to fix all of your symptoms. Or you could thank them for their concern and let them know you're currently in care with a doctor who is monitoring your progress.

I'm not trying to say you're wrong/they are right. I'm trying to say that for me at least it helps to recognize that people care, people have good intentions-------even if they don't express it in the right way.

Also, could you try to explain to them how this disorder literally drains your energy? I mean there is a complicated version of this explanation, but maybe you could somehow explain how having PTSD means that you need more time to rest and your overall energy level is lower. Maybe share that this symptom can improve over time, but right now you're not able to do all that you used to do.

I know it's not easy in the least. :hug: