What Are You Angry About?

[cyndi]

I looked on the board and did not find a post like this one, so I thought I'd start one. This is an invite to all of us to vent what we're angry about from big things to everyday small things that we need to vent. Call it a "dumping ground" of sorts. I'm picturing anything from looooong rants to one line frustrations on any topic you want. It is important to get that stuff out. Keep in mind that people's anger can be triggering so if this works like I hope it will, it will be a charged topic. I was angry when I thought of this, but not now so I'll be back later. You can start without me if you like.

I'm unclear if it's OK to cuss on here or not. I think it could be helpful to be able to vent without having to hold back as we have to do that so much on a daily basis. If a moderator reads this, will you clarify if it's OK to cuss in this topic? Not that I'm a total potty mouth, it just helps express anger for me sometimes...

 

[void]

I am angry about the way children are treated in every country on this planet.

Void

 

[cyndi]

What a poignant start. Hell yeah! Why aren't people protecting their children? Thanks for giving us a start in this life crippled. As if life weren't hard enough.

I'm angry at any being that would rape. Angry that they get away with it. Angry that the only ones who seem to care enough to do anything about it are the ones already crippled from it and so we get dismissed because we're injured. Angry that there aren't programs to help people like us trying desperately to make our lives better but if you have a child without a job you can get food stamps and eat better than I ever have living on my own. Angry that the welfare system is broken and still so much money goes into it without trying to fix it. Angry that all the money that could help so many if used properly is going into fighting wars the people didn't vote on. Angry that so many people are blinded by the Big Brother media they feed into like freaking cattle. Angry that just living a day in my life is so difficult while the ones who abused me have it so easy. Angry that all my extra money goes into therapy and meds for trauma I didn't create!!!!! Angry that I just want to be loved and it seems like I have to prostitute myself to get love. Angry that so many people think I'm a great person but so little want to actually help me. Angry that people waste their breath talking about celebs and bullshit issues when there are so many real issues that affect every one of us on a daily basis. Angry that I'm angry. I've given so much love out in my life, when is my freakin' turn? Angry that it's a full time job just trying to survive flashbacks and making it out of the house daily so that it drains me to not even wanting to do anything 'fun'. Angry that my parents didn't protect me, didn't teach me, can't face responsibility when I get no choice in facing what happened to me. Angry at never-ending selfish hands on my body. MY body. MINE. Angry that my brain doesn't work right anymore. Angry that I have to fight so damn hard not to feel broken. Angry that I didn't get the tools to take care of myself before and have to struggle so hard to make it now. Angry that I had to learn how to fire a gun. I didn't want to be that person, never wanted to even consider that I might have to kill another to protect myself. Angry that is still a possibility and that I would have to live with those consequences. Angry that I have to smile and be pretty. Angry that no matter what I do, gain weight, good hair cut bad haircut, dress cute, don't dress cute, guys always want in my pants. Angry that I can't live a life free of that. Angry at eyes that undress me without my permission. Angry at people not taking responsibility for their actions. Angry that I feel so alone. Angry that I have to be the one that rises above and meditates compassionate thoughts when I'm so angry. Angry that I don't know how to express anger except like this. Angry that I have to look over my shoulder. Angry that all of this has made me a walking contradiction to myself.

There's a start anyhow. Think I needed that much?

 

[UmightKnowMe]

What a great idea Cyndi. I am only beginning to start to feel the beginnings of anger and certainly can't articulate what I feel like you just did. I sit here trying to think what words to type and all I am getting is raw emotion. A big ugly amorphous thing rolling around inside me. Interesting really. Usually I dont notice it...I have to dig or be triggered repeatedly to get to it...and even then it is very stubborn (or is it me that is stubborn?) and won't show itself fully. Sometimes I think thats a good thing because it seems dangerous and scary. But my therapist says it would be a huge improvement if I could just let it fly. Baby steps I guess...and then when I get to the edge watch out!

 

[midi]

I'm angry that I'm angry. No, I kid you not. I volunteered to do some design and man, I'm angry that I did that and, as a result, I'm angry because I'm angry. Oh, and I'm also angry at giimps I used to know, who use the "Your Welcome" crap when posting on local forums. So, I'm angry that I'm angry over such trivial crap too.

 

[fallout]

I'm angry at lucky people. Specifically lazy ignorant lucky ones that avoid moderate challenges, even when doing so hurts me. I don't care if thinking about PTSD is less fun than running around like an idiot playing drinking games, if the only way to forget about PTSD is to forget about me, then they need to deal with it. It's not like I'm asking anyone to live my life, or take all my bad crap. I'm pissed at the people who won't even take my good stuff anymore, just because they have to take both the good and the bad and they run away from anything bad like inconsiderate pansies. Sometimes it's worth it, and I am one of those times.

 

[BassistKara]

I'm angry at the fact that anger is the only feeling i can recognise and be comfortable sitting with, but when it comes to anything else i have no idea what i'm feeling and it's scary so to make it more comfortable i seek out triggers just to get me back into that angry state. My mind sucks!

 

[bsquared-4ac]

I am angry about numerous events. I am tired of the only significant relationship in my life. It is rather dissatisfying and often makes me feel as though I do not want to exist any longer. There is an intense lack of communication and when there is it is extremely unproductive. I am angry about the fact that my feelings intrude on my academic capabilities, often resulting in much wasted time (such as now). I am angry that I do not have any significant people in my life other than one individual who is, for lack of a better term, a boyfriend. I am angry at men in general and cannot stand them any longer. I often find them no good and despise them. Overall, I am just angry. Angry about the fact that I have to wake up everyday feeling the same way as I remain utterly unsatisfied on a regular basis. Oh, how i yearn to become an astronaut. I could then leave this place behind for an extended period of time. Then, perhaps, I could return with some sense of joy to be on such a planet with other beings.

 

[ga yankee]

I'm just getting into an anger stage I think. Not really toward my family but definately toward my company and former boss. I'm pisse# at the narrow-minded, self-centered, because of business reasons crap they spout when I have questions. Angry at the fact they have no idea what they've done to my family with their decisions. They see letting me go as a piece of paperwork. They don't see the results. I'm angry over the stigma people have toward PTSD. I'm angry I can't tell the world what we go through on a daily basis so that they would understand.

 

[shiraz]

Angry at the Media

I am angry at the media for feeding our minds with distructive ideals and self loathing. The media have blinded us to who we really are and how to live a life of wholeness. The media teaches our sons to see woman as sexual objects and teaches them to believe that woman are only attractive if they dress and act in ways which conform to media norms. Subsequently, our daughters learn to prostitute themselves (in the idea of allowing themselves to be used), they learn to dress and walk and talk and act in ways that stimulate lust in others. Our daughters have learnt that their bodies are instruments of seduction and play out the steriotype the best they can and are devistated by the effects of their actions. Their actions reap a whirlwind of spiritual emptiness and their spirits and emotions are scared through the dicotomy of needing male attention and the objectification which ensues.

I am angry at every person who accesses sex-entertainment (pornography, adult magazines and strip clubs etc) as this propagates the steriotipical approach of men towards woman. We allow our sons to disrespect woman by their attitudes and use of them as instruments of lust and pleasure. And we allow our daughters to disrespect themselves when they portray themselves as the media proposes. Our daughters are filled with anxiety over not being able to fillfill the ideal of whom the media supposes they should be and rediculously - we allow them to be shamed by the fact that they do not meet up with media steriotyping.

I am outraged by the lack of reasonable thought and mindlessness with which we consume the media rubbish that is fed to us daily. magazines are our holy scriptures, telling us how to behave, how to look and how to think and soap operas and talk shows teach us about our morality.

What has become of us? We are slowly killing our souls as we feed the money hungry media corporations. Who will stand up and say NO MORE! Who will educate our sons and daughters in respect for themselves and for others and teach them the value of life and wholeness. When does all this sadness end?

 

[freya]

I am angry about fate. The way things just go wrong, people mistreat eachothe (sometimes even meaning well) and so on. The way that this can't be helped.

 

[sandy]

I am angry that I can't think straight anymore. I'm angry that I'm so tired every morning I have to actually decide whether to get up and go to work, and then I have to try to forget the nightmares from the night before in order to accomplish anything. I'm angry that so many things trigger me on a daily basis. I'm angry that I have to stop and question whether something is "normal" or not. It upsets me greatly that I'm so alone and feel like I don't count or matter. No one that I know understands me or wants anything to do with what I deal with. Everything is fine as long as I put on a smile and pretend that it's all OK. People don't really care, not friends, not family and certainly not the one's I work with. It's like I give and give and get nothing back. I am so sick of being the one who always gives in and never does things the way I want.

That felt good, Thanks