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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I'm feeling like so much of this anxiety I have been dealing with for the past several weeks, goes back to how much fear I have lived in, which goes back to my childhood.

Just darn it, it really takes over my life and my body, but I just did something that was out of my comfort zone, and I lived through it.

It's like my body is having me feel these feelings that have been pushed down for so long!
 
I'm feeling irritated that I am still awake and the sun is about to come up. When are my patterns going to get back to normal? I'm frustrated and still angry and hurt at the way I was treated by my so-called friend at a deeply distressing time in my life. Uncaring at this point if the letter I send her pisses her off or is too harsh. I feel justified in my thinking.
 
I'm not sure if I'm depressed, but I am motoring onwards anyway. Need to find work soon, so no time to sit around and cry...which I probably need to do more at some point. I'm a little confused and a bit murky. I feel mixed up and need comfort. I need cuddles and loving. I need my hair stroked. I need to be held. Feeling tempted to go to my dealers house for comfort, but the little voice telling me not to is speaking up, and I feel like I probably should listen, but at the same time...it's ok to ask for comfort when I need it...so, I'm feeling in conflict with my sensible side and my emotional needs. I'm also feeling angry at myself.
 
I feel relieved and like I can relax now. The rent is paid and I discovered that I have enough to pay rent for the next fortnight, in which time I will be working again, so...PHEW! The stress has left the building (about that anyway). It's a good feeling to know I have money in the bank to fall back on when I am not working, without having to go on the dole...a VERY good feeling.
 
I feel confused.and flustered, and sore in my neck and lower back, but it's not as bad as it was a few days ago, so that's something I feel grateful for. I feel hungry and content that I stayed in and chatted with a male friend whom I feel safe and comfortable with, instead of taking myself off to buy more weed. Feeling the pain....not loving it, but feeling it.:arghh;
 

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