What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

@therisa - thoughts are with you, hope you feel better

 

[Britt.f7]

I'm feeling contemplative.

I have a bunch of my tree's in and around my yard. Some of them have probably seen better days. I have a pear tree that by the looks of the trunk should have died ages ago. Yet, every year, for 14 years, it continues to grow and produce lush leaves. Not sparingly like our apple trees. Every year, despite the odds, it thrives. Some years we are blessed with pears. I look at that tree and think, it is not perfect, but it does not give up. It doesn't care how it looks, it still blooms with fruit. I think, based on the trunk alone, that maybe we should take it down, then I think why should we? It continues to grow. Maybe that is how I should look at my life. I'm not perfect, but I can still thrive. Some years are better then others, my body is getting older, but I can still be useful. If a tree in nature can continue on surely I can.

 

[amethist]

I am feeling angry and resentful.

 

[StarChild]

@Britt.f7, beautiful description, great analogy! I could truly feel your contemplation and see the lovely and peaceful scene you described. Your words gave me peaceful inner pictures to look at and to think of.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I am happy. I had a huge breakthrough yesterday in therapy and I am calm and happy. I am feeling strong.

 

[KP the nut]

I'm feeling okay. I spoke to Hubby again tonight and I'm feeling a lot more settled. I will sleep with the dogs again tonight though, they are such a comfort.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I feel jittery.

 

[Philippa]

Can you take a break and some distance Phillipa? Can you not totally cut off but see that she is flawed and you are flawed and lower you expectations of her but enjoy the good stuff of her?

I can see these things, but I am not willing to put up with being abused and attacked. I have already deleted her from my friend list on facebook. If we happen to come back into contact at some point in the future then I will cross that bridge when it comes to me. I don't particularly want to be around someone who thinks I'm a mean, horrible narcissist. Would you?

No, I'm not willing to lower my expectations that a friend will address me without attacking me verbally or trying to make me feel like i'm a bad person for putting up boundaries with her. I don't think staying friends when our issues have become so enmeshed is a very healthy choice.

You are able to see she is projecting her stuff on to you so you can manage that by perhaps taking a step back from her before she gets to this point of overwhelm?

I felt totally drained when I read her words Ms Spock. I was not able to take a step back until later.

If you didn't have PTSD her hissy fit might not effect you the way it is, though she is being unreasonable towards you.

That's possible, but the fact is I do, and it did affect me the way it did.

Can you take the good and not take on the bad?

Do you mean can I only accept her for her good aspects and reject her bad aspects? I think I can handle both unless her feral side does not come out lashing out and scratching. I don't need that crap right now. I've put up with a fair but of her 'bad' side for a while now.

Being friends with someone with PTSD is not easy so maybe she was overwhelmed by your feelings and was unable to manage these adequately. Maybe she just didn't feel heard by you. Maybe she was distressed by what you are going through and overreacted?

She said she didn't feel heard by me, but didn't say where she didn't feel heard. I don't know what she was going through when she read my expression, which I took great care and lots of time making sure was worded in a way that did not attack her...and she turned around and launched a full scale attack on me verbally in return. If she was overwhelmed by me saying that I felt disrespected, then yes, you're right, she didn't manage them adequately. Her intent was to hurt me, the way she was hurting. If you are distressed by what a person is going through, you do not express that by attacking the person.

Please ignore if this is not helpful.

It was helpful in a way, but I have made my decision. Well, actually SHE made the decision when she told me "good riddance".

I feel like you are saying that I haven't been understanding or forgiving enough of her. I'm tired of being the one who has to always be the understanding forgiving one, when the other parties make no effort to understand me or take my flaws into account.

Perhaps I am cutting people out too quickly in your eyes, and that may be the case? I'm taking care of me right now. I'm grieving deeply and I don't need people who treat me that way around me. I'm sure that is understandable.

 

[Miss_Understood]

I feel angry today, I feel disappointed.

I feel like I will never be able to overcome the trauma I've suffered.

I feel like I just constantly disappoint, burden and hurt others.

I feel like I don't know where I'm going nor where I've been, or even where I am now.

 

[Philippa]

I don't know if this will help any Miss_Understood, but I wanted to say that sometimes you need to disappoint people, and it's ok, because you're not supposed to live up to their expectations all the time, You can not go through life worrying about hurting others because it will happen anyway. People hurt each other...that's just part of life, and learning to overcome that and continue to be open to loving others. I'm not the best at it I admit, but I'm not that bad at it either.

I feel like I burden people as well, and it's a terrible feeling. I also feel ineffective in friendships with females. They just don't seem to work out in most cases.

Maybe some grounding is in order Miss_Understood? Can you feel into your feet and just maybe speak out loud things you see or what you are experiencing. That can be a good way to get a better grip on where you are.

 

[CraftyCath]

Very anxious. We have been seriously overdrawn in the bank and we will have to tighten the belt. It is so tight we cannot breathe and we can't cut back any more. :eek: H is on holiday for a week but we can't even afford to put petrol in the car so we can't go anywhere. :cry:

Feeling tired and in pain as it is time of the month and the new tablets the doctor gave me don't seem to help at all.

Very worried and low.

 

[KP the nut]

Very worried and low.

((((HUGS))))

I'm feeling as if I'm just managing. I slept well last night, the dogs help. I woke this morning at 09.15 and thought I'll have another 5 minutes. When I next woke it was 11.30am and I felt so guilty, the poor dogs must have had their legs crossed. I got up and made myself take them for their walk.

It was lovely out in the fields, a slight breeze but warm and sunny. I'm proud I'm walking them properly and not just taking them for short walks.

Only 2 more sleeps until Hubby comes home. I am putting one foot in front of the other. Doing one task at a time, put washing on, walk dogs, hang washing out, put shopping away, eat, etc. Baby steps, keep going forward, can't give up.