Bit tired. Emotional. Feels physical and isn't.
(Ranty noodle ahead & no need to read that, sentence above sums things up / I just ain't for net diaries so still not having one)
Was explaining to a colleague at regular work why I'm not there right now, as non-descript as possible. Like nah, right now can't handle working with kids; assholes and that work would lead to a pretty meltdown and I can't afford seeing tweens as enemies. Already busy talking my headspace into cooperating, so not taking outside kids into that cluster. Wish old as hell reactions didn't pop back with stress, & I'll keep working on taking off even the remaining edges. Wee people don't deserve my mental crap projected onto them even in thoughts.
Plus I'm flashbacky as f*ck about mine. Didn't tell those co-workers about them, as what's the point. There's nothing that'll return them. Wish grief didn't come in such waves. Glad it does come only in waves. f*ck if I knew. Back to wondering something I can see as just how-to-bullshit-the-bullshitters, same-old-deals, I-know-that-stuff. :D