What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Lionheart]

I feel a little more settled and less anxious and afraid than I was yesterday. I feel a bit sad because I miss my mother and my sister, but I am trying to remember the happy moments we shared and it eases my mind and soothes my heart.

 

[Rani G2]

Earthed...I flyed away but came back home

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh, hee @PURUSHA , 'earthed'. :)

I feel grateful, and also can't believe it but headache-free atm!! :tup: Despite anniversary of sorts, the kind of anniversary day when hope blew up in my face. But am very thankful, as I understand 2-years-in to trying to overwrite it, that something else can be found after the smoke clears, and the grime gets wiped away. In a sense, it's a quietly profound realization to feel. I believe that's an inkling of healing, or integration. Not that it erases the past, just eventually reveals more. :notworthy:

Happy. Busy, but hope to try to rest with peace a bit.

Hugs for all. :hug:

 

[Ellabella44]

Compassion for my 43 - 44 year old self. I found my diary from that time as well as some poems and grief exercises I did back then. I've held off reading any of it thinking it would upset me. Instead I'm laughing with my younger self on the way I wrote about someday getting sober. " its the 4th, 5th, 6th, ... Time. Oh f*cking h*ll its on my to do list"

I was wilder and confused and lost back then. I wish I could give her a hug and tell her things will get better. But even if I could she wouldn't have been comfortable with hugs in general and wouldn't have believed that eventually the vodka gets put away and I wouldn't be here if she hadn't picked herself up and started to work on this.

 

[Tinyflame]

Idk. :confused: Closest I can say is dread, or generalized feeling of foreboding. Which maybe is hypervigilance + fear, or + negativity?, Idk. Or maybe it's sensing something bad coming down the pipe, or just fearing it, or expecting it will. I do fully understand how my dad must have felt when he said it. But Idk why it's there. Unless it's physiological, + fear?

 

[Ellabella44]

Depressed and angry at myself because my husband reacts as if I've been b*tching at him over little things. I guess the new med is working since I'm seeing now that he is acting like I've done that too much. I don't mean to get like that. And it's mostly the bipolar but to me not an excuse.

And I have a trauma anniversary coming up. Usually lasts from now till late January. Trying not to get upset about it but I've been crying a lot today

 

[mumstheword]

Relieved. My son has come back.into my life after a long absence. It was partly my untreated c-PTSD and associated comorbitities and ill health that I lost him, through, and partly his narcy dad who manipulated him to ailienate me. So I am happy that we are good, now, after nearly 10 years apart.

 

[Rani G2]

Inner ruthlesness..(positive) When contradiction is graspable and OK to be with. When inner tyranny is known and can be placed in a narrative.

 

[Lionheart]

I feel tired, weak and weary. Also anxious and I don't know why but at least I am not depressed.

 

[Ellabella44]

Overwhelmed. There's so much to learn about managing my emotional spikes. Need to change my diet even so things don't get out of control. And I know when I've slipped and lost it.

Feel like I'm driving a stagecoach with two racing horses and I need them calmed and managed before I go off the cliff they are running towards.

 

[Rani G2]

Pressed-to-Depth

 

[Ellabella44]

:hugs: @PURUSHA and anyone else who needs it today.

Reluctance - not looking forward to discussing some memories that talking to another family member clarified. But if I don't it will eat at me. Pain of holding on to this will be worse than letting it go and speaking of it eventually. Its way back in my childhood. And I can't allow it to hold me back there.