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Really not good, got home a few hours ago from dentist, two teeth extracted but both bleeding and struggling to stop the bleeding - have been biting down on gauze for 40 minutes :(
I'm feeling deep compassion and concern for someone who has lost. Someone who always gives and is always there for others. I hope this person is able to do lots of self-care, healthy mourning and doesn't get lost in the void.
Needing/Not needing/ Rejected>>>>>>>>>>Baaaaammm I‘m a bad person because you judge me and see me as less worthy Enter the zone of : Selfdestructive mindset....
No not this time! I‘m here and I will be here for real.
I'm feeling afraid and concerned because one part of my mind doesn't seem to be connecting dots that seem to be straight lines to another part of my mind's opinion and fire alarm bells are ringing. I have to leave this apartment in 2 weeks and I haven't yet secured another apartment or made a weekly hotel reservation.
Abandonment stuff?
Feeling like there's part of me inside grieving so sad about being lonely and wants to reach out to someone but who? And it's never exactly gone well I'd I do.
Bit stuck in that place.
Good news is just a bit stuck there I guess. In the past would have been overwhelmingly stuck in it.