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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Dear @BlackbirdSinging, sending you comforting, calming and strengthening thoughts. Yes, it's more than annoying and frustrating to be limited by whatever illness. But I'm really impressed with the fact (and you of course) that you're able to apply good self care on yourself. Get well soon. :tup:

I'm engulfed by deep sadness and exhaustion. Yesterday was so demanding and exhausting for me. Was attending a funeral, and had to say the last goodbye, to someone I knew almost 30 years. I feel so overwhelmed by all the impressions of yesterday. I feel utterly help- and useless.
 
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Thank you @RavenGirl and @TreeHugger. The guilt is hard but, my body just won't allow it. What my little cough developed into is croup. Technically adults shouldn't get it I still do though. And with asthma it's tricky. Last time I got this I ended up with a lung infection and I was sick for like 6 weeks. On the upside my body doesn't care about the guilt. It's pulled rank and I couldn't force myself out the door if I tried. Sorry PTSD symptoms self care is happening whether I like it or not. And thankfully my relative is understanding.
 
The feeling of I do not belong today is strong. because inside I can't see or feel, or grasp a completed home. (Self) The home place seems to feel like a fragile glass house built On crumbling foundation, where when I do show up I feel others stand to mock, repulse or reject it which feels like the throwing of invisible stones and when the shards of broken glass and dust settle.. the wind from the recoil of emotions scatter the rest away leaving nothing but the remains of a detoriated, crumbled foundation once again.
 
A completely Inadequate being.

I smile When I see people engaging together, laughing and enjoying each other's company but I feel such a deep profound loss and loneliness that my heart feels like it will just break... right in... two. I have children and a husband and yet I feel like I'm on the outside looking in.. in my own home. I disappear and to be honest there are times like today when the picture looks complete without me in it. I know that isn't true but it's how I feel right now.
 

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