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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Thank you @MrMoonlight .

I suppose I can find a good, or something to be thankful for, in most situations (the worst being, 'at least it wasn't like this always'..), but I am not sure if I can take a step to let go of mistrust. Since a) generally speaking people often misrepresent themselves- until they don't (and if you don't know who the sucker in the room is, you're it), and b) The risk if wrong outweighs the benefits if justified and c) I can't tell what is my gut from what is past and current knowledge. Which when they say a person can't trust themself is I suppose what they mean. Also d) I give the most generous benefit of the doubt, until I can't, which leaves me at a serious disadvantage. And all of which compels me to want to run for the hills.

I wish I could be more 'un-aware', or have no past or complications. So, I feel sad. But I also know I don't need trust for anything but my own heart, I can go through all the other motions without it, including relationships. I think it's maybe just too much damage to overcome, and at this age and stage I can basically choose without influencing anyone but myself, really, not 25 and planning a family and kids.

Not sure where that's on the wheel, lol.
 
Generally speaking heartache, fear, dissatisfaction, physical pain, helplessness and depression.

Combatting(ed) these feelings with a delicious healthy lunch; some exercise/labor; ongoing small achievements; permissions to take it easy and probably soon some rest. I’ll just flop on the bed in the other room and hopefully choose to be willing to listen to some light, soft, perhaps to a book I find meaningless.

My heart aches and I can only imagine that it will forever do so, and now I’m about ready for a good cry.

For me, an infrequent good cry always beats overthinking; dissociating and numbing out.

I am experienceing and have overcome a lot last year and this year. I believe we all are and have. This life continues. It will be ok.

Heartache; depression and hope today, for me.
 

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