What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Tinyflame]

Tired.
Afraid.
Bubbling over with anxiety.

 

[Tinyflame]

Kind of at a loss of what to say. Or rather how to say it.

Woke up too early- but need to get a lot done. Must add :coffee::coffee::coffee::coffee: So, rushed and pressured, but body unwilling. Lazy or exhausted or anxious?
Confused.
Very sick sister, and dog- worried and grieving. Haven't resumed smoking yet though, happy it didn't occur to me, only as I could, vs I must (so far).
Thankful, to other sister and bf, re dog/ maybe can make cart/ w/ chair. Can't get clear Vet info if it's degenerative body or absolutely fast-tracking health decline. Two vets seem to be on different pages. More meds, still worsening. Frustrated,sorrowful, unsure.
Overwhelmed with dealing with thoughts of my sister's death, given less than a month 3(?) weeks ago. Separated. Regrets. Sorrow. Blocking out.
At odds with another, yet aware how she feels is not in my control. But feel sad and mistrustful/ anxious. Tried to bridge some ground. Don't feel hopeful about attempt though. Feel unsafe.
Physical chronic body troubles getting harder to deny. Aware, yet in denial since lack of options. Like an old clunker car with tranny troubles needing to show up at Nascar. Frightened but also indifferent, it's all relative. My absence would behoove many. Because when in need all else recedes, emotions don't come in to play just meeting the need.
Relieved am off of work today.
Grateful there will eventually be church to receive communion. Maybe one day, if the stars align and I get the opportunity/ find the energy.
Despite the above, would like to not be sad, angry, negative or judgmental. Frankly don't actually feel that way, except the sad/ frightenend/ grieving/ hole (cavern)-in-heart part.
Actually despite thinking too much, without having to deal with other's conflict, in the absence of it I actually lean towards peacefulness and softness. Have some sense of self-awareness.
Hoping I can eventually get away from stressful job, work hard but the rest of it is overwhelming. feels more like prison than a place of even minimal equality or respect. Others know how to work around it- leaves that last for months/ years. Can't bring myself to do that though. Which is likely less about my integrity than just not my nature. Trapped in so many ways.
Noticed other's positive comments about themselves I would consider negatives when applied to myself. Kind of surprised.
Thankful.
Quiet.
Small, insignificant.

Sorry this is a novel! TLDR . Which makes me feel :laugh::rolleyes: -silly! , & like I should crawl under a rock! ? :)

 

[Tinyflame]

Abject overwhelming anxiety. I ate something, as someone says that will help. Sure hope so.

 

[whiteraven]

Sad. Angry.

 

[NatBird]

Sadness
Anger
Hopelessness

 

[Tinyflame]

Let down again, for something important to me. I give up. Feel like, feelings don't matter, and, feelings really don't matter. That and needs only matter, when people actually care if they do, otherwise they're an inconvenience and let down.
Oh well. F*ck it.
Gross-regrets. Could have at least maintained my privacy.
Yay I am off.

 

[Ronin]

Fine.

The f*cked up, insensitive, needn't existing kind.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Sad from learning of the passing of a former supervisor of mine who changed my life in many beneficial ways. She had the best laugh and was a great listener.

 

[Ronin]

Sorry for your loss @Tornadic Thoughts ...

And damn glad you had her in your life when needing someone like her, most.

 

[HumanNOS]

I feel scared.
I feel less than.

I am sitting here trying to gather the courage to go to the grocery store. Even without the pandemic, it was hard.
I'm unsure.
I've felt better the last few days. I accepted my PTSD diagnosis. My pdoc did raise my meds a bit. But, I've almost felt happy and now I'm scared again.

I feel helpless.
I've dealt with abuse. I would rather be physically wounded than mentally. But I just don't feel like I know what to do with this PTSD. It seems more elusive than what I've had to face in the past. I don't know what is a symptom and what to do...like now...being scared to go to the grocery. Where is that inside of me? I want to face it and fix it.

I feel uncertain.
I feel
I feel
I feel pain.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Thanks so much, @Ronin . She was indeed a diamond in the rough who gave me chances to shine and exist in ways I didn't realize I ever could in an arena like that based on typical societal expectations and such.

I guess that's why I subconsciously chose to jam the song, "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" as I was exiting the parking lot on the day I resigned in order to protect what I had left of my health.

She had already retired and left the hypocritical/unethical madness long before that, but her seeds of encouragement and genuinely giving a damn kept blooming. ?

Hi @HumanNOS . From another who also feels less than more often than not, I hear ya'.

Hey there, @Tinyflame . You're pretty f'n amazing and I hope you feel that in between the other feels.

Sending heart hugs to all the hurts/ills/emptiness/etc. that wish to receive one. May the next day/thought/experience not suck as much as the current shitty one(s).

 

[ninja]

Doubt and self-criticism. Stupid. Incompetent.