• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I thought about this, there is space, not belonging. I don't belong.

I felt grateful getting a thing accomplished, though guilt as misunderstood or wouldn't really have signed up for myself.

I felt shame & self-mistrust dealing with someone from work. And stress-stress-stress.

I felt awkwardness going about my day.

I felt shame dealing with a guy at the bank.

I felt misunderstood goodbye was thought as hello. And shame, as goodbye was preferable/ mutually palpable. So also, ironically, validation.

I felt surprised with 3 unexpected surprises.

I don't feel that great, so can't know if my thoughts are clear. Tired, on edge. Not very eloquent! Hard to find the words.
 
Frozen, sore and sick.

I was thinking of the last months/ year, working through, covid , death of immediate family; Christmas, bday, New Year, daily impossibilities; etc, everyone being told to virtually step up their game and reach out. Thought of relative , people who didn't bother to send a card, don't reach out. Which, I understand, you're supposed to be lenient on people and they have their own trials- but a person only dies once. And feels like indifference- even worse indifference to who died I just can't muster feelings of any of this shows caring, or concern of any kind. I just can't muster the energy or heart to pretend I feel otherwise, or act otherwise, or pretend people care or don't simply have their own interests at heart. Is that wrong? Or just a normal and accurate interpretation based on reality?
 
Frustrated because someone is not keeping their agreement with me. So here I sit waiting for them to catch up on their schedule, meanwhile I am having to mess up my schedule.
 
Back
Top