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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Humliated.
Digging deep to try to find energy to get through the day, and cheer other people up. Trepidation what they will add to my schedule.
Disappointment and shame. Tired of being treated like a child, idiot, goof in my personal life. Somehow think as a 50+ woman if I were going in to do brain surgery or the like today I would be treated with more respect. Or perhaps it's what I would have always expected, and therefore acted in a manner where I received it.
Disillusioned by talk of inherent dignity when treated without. Guess they think me, or people like me, are morons. Not sure the word for how that makes me feeel. A lot of different things, I guess. Introspective. I'd default to cracking a joke but not up to it, as can be honest here. (Thanks.)
 
I feel sad, lonely, and old, but I'm determined to make it thru the holidays with my happy face showing. It is really just a matter of missing my family, they have all passed on and it leaves me to wonder when my time will be. I hope not too soon, but at the same time, not too long either. Gawsh dang depression.
 
embarrassed. flop sweat comes and goes. Over nothing.

I bought a large piece of antique furniture yesterday, from a very packed shop. they were moving everything around to get my purchase out to the main aisle, I went out to get my truck ready and bring in my dolly (you would be surprised what crappy hand trucks some of these shops have) and when I came back I ran into a short little shelf set in the aisle. i felt bad for doing it but there was no damage, just some alarming noise. Well, that wasn't enough, I ran into it again, this time going the other way. On that side I carry a pocket knife with a metal clip to keep it up high in my pocket, and I ran the clip along the top of the same shelf. There was a noticeable scar. I should have caught hell and been told that I had just bought it, instead the owner told me not to worry, he told me he runs his shop in the real world and to forget it. I gave him a chance to sell it but he told me to forget it, again.
I never give myself a break on these things. I HAVE to do the right thing always, especially with other peoples belongings. Everytime I think of what happened I cringe. I will own this piece until I die, it is beautiful but now I have tarnished the memory of buying it and bringing it home because I beat my self up over these things.
embarrassed. wishing I had insisted on buying that shelf. Not willing to drive the 200 miles to go get it now, embarrassed.
This is what maladjustment is for me. I don't run my life in the real world very well, not as well as the gentleman that suffered my carelessness runs his shop.
 
I never give myself a break on these things. I HAVE to do the right thing always, especially with other peoples belongings. Everytime I think of what happened I cringe. I will own this piece until I die, it is beautiful but now I have tarnished the memory of buying it and bringing it home because I beat my self up over these things.
embarrassed. wishing I had insisted on buying that shelf. Not willing to drive the 200 miles to go get it now, embarrassed.
Conversely? Showing the man the respect to make his own choices, even if those choices benefit you? IS doing the right thing.

- Paying for damages would be the right thing.
- Showing the owner the respect of “allowing” him to make his own decisions would also be the right thing.

IMO Refusing to allow the man to make decisions, in his own shop, would be just as wrong (if not more wrong) than willfully damaging something (or even accidentally, which is what happened) and refusing to pay for it when asked.

It’s uncomfortable, as a card carrying member of the control freaks club, to allow others the freedom to make their own choices. But it’s the respectful thing to do.

IE ? Might could be a memory to cherish, rather than a memory tarnished.
 
IE ? Might could be a memory to cherish, rather than a memory tarnished.
I agree with @Friday on this one. Didn't say anything, because all feelings are valid, and I get it/ relate. But much kindness happens when, by it's very nature, it's 'given', not 'deserved' or required, and I think a great example of man's-humanity-to-man. And we reaaaalllly need that in these days.

IF anything, @enough I think you two might have made good friends. 😊
 
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