What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[LilacFaerie]

not sure that I am going to be able to piece myself together this time.

Man, do I know this feeling well. I just came from a spot like this about a week ago. I haven't fallen that deep in the pit in a while. It does pass, but it sure feels like it won't when you're in the thick of it. At those times, I feel ....... nothing.

The fact that you have the presence of mind tho, to wonder it you can recover, tells me that you can. Hang in there - I'm rooting for you!

 

[ms spock]

I feel like I'm being pushed into going out today and I really don't want to.

I feel scared as I know it's going to be busy, which means everything I hate all at the same time:(
The things I hate are people, sun, heat and than I can't breathe.

I also feel very tired I couldn't sleep last night, and now I have a headache coming.

Oh god being pushed in to stuff is no fun.

It is different when we decide to push ourselves and get ourselves to turn up but being beholden
to someone else is very hard.

Big hugs,
ms spock

 

[ms spock]

I am feeling I cannot do it! It is all too hard! Why must my life be so hard? It is not fair! I have to do it but it is so hard!
Why don't I have a loving family! OMG it is all too much! I want a loving family. I want to love myself. I want to stand
up for myself. OMG it is so hard! How will I ever study for my exams.
ms spock

 

[jo may]

Thank you ms spock that means a lot to me. it was just as awful as I thought it would be.

Should have listened to sea when he adviced me to blow it off.

Hugs back
JM:tup:

<It is not necessary to quote the post you are replying to, as you have mentioned their name in your reply. Amethist>

 

[jo may]

I feel knackered,

I feel resentful(for being made to feel I had to go out)
And that makes me feel awful, guilty and ashamed. I'm their mummy and his wife but I don't act like it.

I feel scared constantly.

I feel hate at myself and my disorder, that turned me from me into this zombie.

JM

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

(((JM & MsSpock))) Feel better soon!

I feel glad the day is almost over, and in the morning? A new day...new choices...new feelings, or at least different feelings.

 

[ms spock]

Yes JM,

Oh gosh how hideous - being as awful as you thought it would be! ICKY!

The words of sea can be wise!

I have no contact with my family any more. Occasionally the send me guilt tripping
letters and cards but I have no social contact. Blowing it off is always harder then it reads
on a forum because then you have to deal with the punishment of not going.

I don't think it is easy either way.

I would really like it if I would follow through with some wisdom in my own life! LOL

So if you get there, may sure you let me know!
ms spock

<It is not necessary to quote the post you are replying to, when you have mentioned their name in your reply. Amethist>

 

[Deleted member 6617]

lonely

 

[ms spock]

Pottershand,

if you want we can sit under the tree together and enjoy each other's company and if not that is fine as well.

The loneliness is so hard to deal with for me.

I feel a lot of loneliness at the moment. I feel for you.
ms spock

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Thank you Ms Spock! It is just when I am by myself is when my demons come out. The memories haunt me and I get scared and lonely. Familiar feelings I'm afraid. I was scared and alone then too....except the abusers. ACK...got to shut off the mind and think about that tree. The breeze blowing the leaves to make their own music accompanied by the birds. Peaceful yet full of life.

 

[ms spock]

I feel scared constantly.

JM

The adrenaline coursing through our poor worn out bodies is so exhausting.

It makes have perspective and proportion about the world very difficult.

Being in the flight, fight and/or the freeze mode is about survival at its most primitive state.

This is not easy. Not easy at all.

The glasses you are looking at the world through, at the moment, are tinted by your reptilian brain.

I haven't found when I am in the throes of my reptilian brain and in one of those three states:flight, freeze and fight that I have much of a positive outlook on life or myself. So perhaps, if you can, ease up on yourself, just a little.

As a friend of mine once said to me "You can't flog a dead horse!" or "When the horse is down, flogging her/him won't get her/him back on her/his hooves." So whilst I forget this a lot of the time, (because my reptilian brain is fairly active!) maybe it brings a scerrick of comfort to you.

ms spock

 

[ms spock]

Thank you Ms Spock! It is just when I am by myself is when my demons come out. The memories haunt me and I get scared and lonely. Familiar feelings I'm afraid.

*nods*

Indeed!