I feel scared because I continually have these very strange (executive functioning and language) spells in which other people must and do notice often.
I feel all alone with all this because I, ....
a) don't want to talk or think about that subject, and
b) know that I don't have anyone's interest, knowledge and support in dealing with it, and
c) feel ashamed because I conclude that I am all alone in dealing with this because I deserve to be.
d) feel afraid that others won't take me seriously or will in insensitivy and ignorance deny this reality.
I feel bad and dirty because I am too often stupid.
...Overwhelmed because I am alone and surrounded by so much work, realities and educational realizations.
...Exhausted for the above reasons and more.
...Disgusted because I care about myself, too.
...Ashamed, guilty and afraid because I had gotten so terribly ill.
...Betrayed that I received little to zero empathy from family while terribly ill.
...Hurt and angry that I was on the receiving end of so many demands and so much distorted/warped thinking and all around most frightening, provocative reactions, behaviors and triggers while so terribly ill.
I feel courage and consideration that the worst is over and that one day at a time I can possibly get through what arises, and while simultaneously aiding family with their most difficult challenges.
I feel doubtful. I feel overwhelmed. I feel greatly challenged daily with too much.