What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[goingonhope]

STUPID BEYOND COMPREHENSION - going, going, gone...

This could be. Now want to share anywhere what's wrong with stupid people? Are you better then us?

goingonhope

 

[Ron]

STUPID BEYOND COMPREHENSION - going, going, gone...

What does this mean? Is this a shot at Goingonhope? Please elaborate?

 

[Marie E.]

I hope things turn out ok, you guys!

 

[Froggie]

My sugar levels must be down today. Having dizzy spells today.

You be careful with that ((((Sandra))))

 

[Froggie]

Helpless beyond belief.
I'm struggling to stay positive,I can't fight this for him and I don't know how to put the fight back into him.

This feels like that point you reach when watching someone with a terminal illness when they decide that enough is enough and they give in.

Dear (((((wife of)))))), it is his battle, the only thing you and the professionals can do is protect himself from himself. It's a H*LL of a situation to live, know where you're coming as I lived that as a child with my suicidal mother ... she's still alive. That is why you have to care for yourself and be a model for your son also so that he knows that he is worth being cared for too. Candle burning for you ...

 

[wife of]

Thank you froggie you have no idea how much that glimmer of hope means.x

 

[Marie E.]

Working to hold myself together as I am experiencing pretty much a overwhelming rate of flash backs. I am going to just relax and acknowledge, validate whatever emotions coming through and just let myself be ok. I can do that much and work off the feeling, revaluate my mind set etc. I am feeling useless, abandoned and afraid. But I know I will cntinue to exist, evolve and withstand that I am a surviver and a good person, just under bad cicumstances which is very much, no fault or the making of myself alone.

 

[wife of]

A teeny,tiny spark of positivity,just need to grow it some.

 

[amethist]

Mama Mia should do it wife of, failing that try Billy Connolly. :tup:

 

[Icon Nikon]

STUPID BEYOND COMPREHENSION - going, going, gone...

My apologies to "goingonhope", "Ron", "Marie", and everyone else who read this and took offense. None was intended, I hadn't even read the other posts when I wrote this. I was just listing my current feeling, not replying to any other post. I was still feeling very angry and stupid about myself and my medical situation.

I was not responding to anyone, but myself. I was simply letting out how much I hated myself at that moment. "I was feeling stupid beyond even what I could comprehend, and I wanted to crawl under the nearest rock I could find!" It was an ongoing reaction/battle that I was having with myself. In my earlier post I was more angry with myself and my doctors, but by this point I felt completely stupid and deserving of the additional pain and distress I was in. I stupidly allowed the ICU doctors to put me on a medication that I know is potentially lethal to me. And when I wrote this I was exhausted, throwing up every few minutes, and needed to be intubated to breathe. And I felt that I deserved everything that was happening to me because I was too stupid to look closely at the pills to see that they weren't what I was supposed to be given.

I am terribly sorry for the misunderstanding I created by blurting out my feeling without reading what preceded it, but sometimes that's all I can do. But for those of you who know me at all, you know that the only person that I put down or feel is unworthy is me. I feel even worse now! "

"goingonhope" you wrote a very caring and generous reply to my concerns, which I liked once I read it, but by then you had already been hurt by my post which had nothing to do with yours. I am so very sorry to you! I hope you can see it for what it was and find it in your heart to forgive me. If not, I don't blame you. I am pretty toxic to most everyone I come in contact with.

"Ron" thank you for questioning what I meant and asking me to elaborate. I'd rather hurt myself than anyone else on here. I hope both of you would read my first (?) post from earlier today, and know that my stupid post was not a "shot at anyone but me".

And Marie thank you for your support to ALL affected. This forum is supposed to be safe and encouraging and I inadvertently didn't see how my words could be misread. I usually take great care in writing any post, because words do have the power to heal and to hurt, and mine hurt at least two others on here. I honestly think it is better if I just shut up, because there is too much guilt and shame in what I did.

Unfortubately I can only apologize and hope that all of you will will choose to accept it.

I think I should have just crawled under that rock and stayed silent.

With much regret for the pain I've caused,
Alex

 

[KP the nut]

(((IC))), I didn't see it as a put down to anyone. I saw it that you were going, going, gone, not anyone else.

Anyway please, stay, stay, stay :D

 

[KP the nut]

I'm feeling happier, still in pain but coping. I am even thinking of doing things, now I just need to get off my behind and do them. OK coffee first :coffee: