What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Rayn]

shattered
I have been doing fairly well for a good while
I joined the forum when I started to spiral down
Last week we suffered a tragedy, when my sister-in-law was killed in an accident.
We were very, very close and I feel completely lost. My depression is getting intense.I have a very big stressor that I'm dealing with in another area of my life. I'm losing control and I feel it but I cant seem to calm myself down.

 

[Philippa]

I feel better. Stronger...more together today. Still sick from the virus though, but feeling stronger emotionally and mentally from the attack the other day. I have allies and people who support me, so I'll make it through this. I'm feeling hopeful I guess...

 

[KP the nut]

I am feeling relaxed and calm. I'm feeling proud of how I managed a busy and stressful week and weekend. I wouldn't have changed it though, especially the teddy bears picnic.

I'm proud I set yesterday aside to rest and recover.

The only cloud on my horizon is that I saw my dentist yesterday and my broken tooth must come out. Depending on the root network it may be difficult as there is hardly any tooth left on the outside to grab hold of - ouch.

(((HUGS))) to those who aren't having a good day.

 

[Traumagirl]

Rayn, I'm so sorry for your loss. Good job holding it together.

 

[Tinyflame]

((((JB)))), sweetie she is not right. You are a warm and generous human being which IMHO is more than can be said for your relative.

Thank you so much KP. Am sure she is just fed up with me or the fact I am not assertive.

I tried to explain, when you are 'run-down' at home, even only at (some) times, (drinking or such, sometimes sober), it doesn't help build confidence. But she said BS. So I don't know if I feel not understood, hopeless, or that I'm making an excuse for how I am.

My immediate supervisor said right away, "I believe you", that brought relief, I felt better, even if it was only temporary. I feel worry and stress, awaiting as of today it goes to the Office Head and an investigation through another Dep't.

It also occurred to me, as I am a bad offender about it, that if one has to 'ask' if they are a burden, they likely are. So the best thing I can do is just go away, usually I've done that and others will just forget if I'm around. Best for them. That makes me feel relieved but sad, also perhaps a new acceptance or awareness of the impact of ptsd, or of 'myself'. But I have to be mature about it, accept that is the way it is, with ptsd.

Thankful for everyone's kindness here, xox, ((((Hugs))) to all who need them.

 

[Tinyflame]

Rayn, I am so very very sorry. :(
((((Hugs))))

Actually, my Supervisor said "I absolutely believe you, you don't even have to explain", and a little more (all positive). I'm afraid to say that- to 'jinx' it. :(

Am hopeful my relative goes away Saturday night. Or possibly thursday or friday?

I also realized, it's not a question of trust, I don't, but am too compassionate/ kind, I only think of that and then if (when) someone is not nice or not trustworthy, I realize too late. :(

 

[Traumagirl]

I'm feeling sad today, not horrible, just sad.

 

[Tinyflame]

((((Traumagirl)))), you and your H are going through so much.

And I understood a little bit why standing up for myself causes SI, well not the 'why' but if I hadn't, I wouldn't have had to go through what is required to follow through with my Employer. Because my Employer never recieved any complaint, the client accused and bullied my without the Employer's knowledge (that I am aware).

But I couldn't leave it be, or I would forever be wondering (fearing- with reason) what next they would accuse me of.

Plus being yelled at and such- no good. Though I could take that.

 

[Tinyflame]

I feel sad for what pain/ grief/ disappointment/ accomodations, I've caused to others or required. Not at work, just in my personal/ family life, etc.

 

[amethist]

Today I feel like getting hold of the psychologists who wrote my husbands latest report, one form hubby's side and one from the other party.

Then injecting them both, (If it were possible) with a weeks dose of acute PTSD, then try and minimize the effect.

If only it were possible.

 

[Nicolette]

Sick as a dog!

 

[KP the nut]

(((Nicolette))), that is gross by the way :p. I hope you feel better soon though.