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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Feeling so very much - and posting about it on many threads!

I want to hold my younger brother and wish him well on this very special day. I want to hold my dad and forgive him. I want to hold both of my brothers and feel safe and loved. I want my family to forgive me. So,so,so sad. I wish that I was well so that I could have re-connected with them sooner. Am dreading that it is now too late.

Feeling utterly bereft. Desolate. Wanting everything to be ok and them wishing that the about things can happen. But, dont how to make it so.
 
I wrote a post and it is gone - ??? Does this mean that I get to say it all again???

I am so so very sad. MY younger brother is getting married today - I want to hold him and tell him that I love him and forgive him He is no more to blame than I am for what happened. I regret so much that I had to walk away from my family - I wish that I could have kept in touch with him. I was so hurt and frightened and depressed that I couldn't.

I want to hold my dad and forgive him. He did the best he could - I remember this. But again I was so hurt and frightened that I had to run away and hide. I know he tried to contact me several times, but I ignored / rebuffed him out of hurt and anger. I want to ask him to forgive me fir this.

I want to hold my older brother and his daughters - I want us to love and care for each other.

I am so frightened that I have left it far to late for any of these things to ever happen.

I am devastated and heartbroken and utterly bereft. Going mad with sadness and self-loathing.
 
Jittery, awake, silly.
Those are three words I would use to describe your cat avatar (which is cute beyond all description Monster :) ). Did you drink caffeine? Caffeine makes me feel like that.

Got a few things done. This is nice.
Those are the best kind of days Britt.

Yesterday was the pitts but I can always have a fresh start with a new day.:)
I hope you have/had a great day Gizmo. Tomorrow is always another day too.

I am devastated and heartbroken and utterly bereft. Going mad with sadness and self-loathing.
((((Greenfrog2)))) It sounds like you are dealing so much. You sound like such a caring person, and I can't telll you what to do or assure you that it isn't too late for things to change, but I can tell you self-loathing gets you nowhere, and I can tell you that it is ok to hurt and regret but to try and not let that destroy you. I wish you all the best Greenfrog, your post really moved me, and I hope you find the love and care that you want.

Today I feel: terribly lonely, cut-off, sad, angry, miserable. Generally, I feel so terribly lonely. It makes me annoyed, because I'm trying to connect with others, but it feels like I'm either talking to a brick wall (due to lack of their listening skills or lack of caring) or I'm having to listen to all their problems (while they completely ignore my need for them to listen to me). Fed up. Is being fed up a feeling? Rather than just a thought? Whatever, I'm reminding myself tomorrow is another day and I can be a social chameleon, by putting my "happy face" on and hope that I grow into it throughout the course of the evening (going to some family thingy).
 
I regret so much that I had to walk away from my family - I wish that I could have kept in touch with him. I was so hurt and frightened and depressed that I couldn't.

I want to hold my dad and forgive him. He did the best he could - I remember this.

I am so frightened that I have left it far to late for any of these things to ever happen.

Don't be angry at yourself, you also did the best you could. Sometimes we need to distance ourselves from situations that are causing us hurt.

I had no contact with my family for over 9 years, because I needed to.

It is never too late to to to start again. It may not go smoothly, however give it a chance and perserverance may be needed.

Please don't beat yourself up over this.
 
but I can tell you self-loathing gets you nowhere, and I can tell you that it is ok to hurt and regret but to try and not let that destroy you.

Thanks rainy-daze - I need to hear this!

I had no contact with my family for over 9 years, because I needed to.

Thank to you to loloma - were you able to manage a successful reconciliation? Words of wisdom appreciated!
 
Ugh, made a difficult phone call and got a lawyer helping on my disability appeal. The system is so backed up it'll be nearly a year before anything happens on it. As a reward for fighting through not wanting to deal with that, I won an all expenses paid guilt trip. GAH! I understand the wanting to help thing. It would help me to be left alone so I don't stress out over anyone seeing me about to flip the &#%* out.
 
Disillusioned. In Florida where I used to live, I was a senior citizen (anyone over 55 was cnsidered one). Here in North Carolina, I am not yet a senior citizen. So here I sit, too young to go to the Senior Center for lunch, collecting Social Security Disability, but feeling like I am a senior for sure in terms of my health, viewpoint on life in general and so on. No senior di$counts for me yet here.

Groceries are so expenisve, I don't know how on earth I did it, but I spent $450 on GROCERIES last month (unless I added it up wrong, maybe I'll re-check it). I don't even buy hardly any meat. I do eat dairy. I live alone. HOW ON EARTH!?!
 

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