What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Froggie]

I fully accept your hugs ((((Ms Spock))))

 

[CourageofSnow]

I am feeling distant and numb.

I feel that I am a burden to everyone. My husband told me not to brush off the effect that this has on everyone else. I am feeling so angry at this.

I am very aware of the affect that this is having on everyone else, and it is exactly why I am feeling like a burden.

 

[shoulderblades]

Was feeling horribly triggered and in a state of constant panic all day. Feel calmer after talking to a friend; she helped me with seeing some solutions to a problem I'm facing and she was very understanding about why I've been feeling so triggered. It really makes all the difference in the world when people actually just listen to you and make space for you to air your feelings and thoughts. I wish more people knew and understood how to do that.

 

[shoulderblades]

I don't want to feel like this any longer. I am having more bad days then good lately and I feel like I am a burden to everyone. I feel like I have to pretend around others, that I am ok, when I really am not doing ok at the moment.

I feel confused as I don't know if I should keep working or not.

I feel embarrassed as people are seeing me fall apart.

I understand completely what you're going through. What you described is what I was going through at work last year: was having more bad days than good, felt like I was a burden to everybody, felt useless, worthless, but was trying to put on the well-trained mask of "I'm Okay!" to everyone while I was really crumbling to pieces inside. Was having meltdowns at work every day - crying and breaking down in front of customers, in front of work colleagues, having to deal with the humiliation of knowing that everyone could see how untogether and unhinged I was. It was very demoralising.

In the end, I quit my job. I had to weigh up my options: continue struggling with something that I couldn't actually function properly to do, or be kind to myself and admit that I was just not coping. I know quitting a job isn't always an option for people; I was fortunate in that it was an option for me. If it is an option for you, it seems like it might be something worth considering. Don't struggle if you don't have to. Be kind to you - you're the only you that's ever going to be and you only have one lifetime to be you. It's too short to spend it on struggling with things that only add stress and damage. You're not a failure if you decide you need to take time out to just be.

Feeling scared

Jeez, I'm so sorry you're going through so much, Froggie. :-( Offering my biggest and gentlest hugs.

 

[CourageofSnow]

shoulderblades - Thank you for your reply.

My work colleagues are very supportive, I can come and go as needed, and on a good day I can do my job and I enjoy it! I think it is just that I am humiliated, I have always been someone who is in control, now I am not..

At the moment I am feeling frustrated with the whole situation. I have gone from a functional adult to an incoherent sobbing mess! I long to be normal, to not have flashbacks and to feel in control.

The worst part of all this is that 12 years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD and I dealt with quite a lot of stuff. Eventually the flashbacks stopped and I only had nightmares..

Recently I was triggered and since then I have had flashbacks and been disassociating every day.

I am back in therapy but can only afford to see my therapist once a fortnight. Not sure I can afford to quit my job at the moment...






I guess I am afraid of losing my job over this...

 

[CourageofSnow]

Froggie - I am sorry that you are going through such a rough time. Sending you hugs and healing thoughts (if you are able to accept them)

 

[ms spock]

I feel better after going to Tai Chi.

 

[CraftyCath]

I had a blazing headache last night, probably from the hay fever which is also making sleep difficult.

I'm still troubled about the family crisis going on at the moment and even though I have been vindicated I don't expect an apology any time soon, just more blame. I need to silence the paranoia but don't know how.:(

Otherwise I'm doing fine.:)

 

[ms spock]

Tired and weary

 

[roaminggnome]

I am feeling lost after caring for my mom for so many years before she died. I am trying to find things to do to fill the time. Today I am going for a swim just to get out of the house.

 

[Spiderallis]

I slept but I'm still tired. The garbage truck took that yucky old thing away, I'm so happy that it's gone. I don't think my dad is coming over to work on house repairs today, so I'll enjoy the peace and quiet.

 

[The Albatross]

I'm feeling pretty damn good and proactive seeing as how I broke the barrier and saw the dentist, and a doctor, and have another appointment with my new internal medicine specialist. I had been stuck and frustrated with "doctors". Do I feel well, eh, no ... not particularly... but I am ready to battle the medical paradigm again. And I added a new one to the mix... an naturopath. So things are looking about as up as they can be considering.