Livid. I just got home to find that $1,000 is missing from my secret stash of cash that I've been saving for months now, and worked bloody hard to earn as well. I don't know what to do? I'm panicky and furious, and was about to send an accusatory text to the guy I had in my home last week, whom I had sex with, and left him alone in the house...but I managed to calm myself down enough to stop and think about how much I've actually spent in the last two weeks, and whether it could have been me, and it didn't really get taken...just spent and deposited?
I feel confused and angry but not sure if I have any reason to be? I wish I could remember my password to get into my internet bank account to see how much I actually did deposit, and whether it is all accounted for after all, and I'm flipping out over nothing...but I just don't know?
Almost had a panic attack, as I am about to go to Bali on wednesday and thought I had $4,000, but now I only have $3,000 and I can't remember if that is actually right or not? Gah!!
I feel guilty for yelling at the cat and losing my patience with her because I was so wound up about this money missing...or is it really missing? Gah!
The last two days have turned out to be a mixture of pleasant and a nightmare at the same time! I felt great ...really really great yesterday, and today as well, but the whole money thing with the landlord has soured things a little and now this...I can't wait to get to Bali and just let this all melt away. I still have so much to do. I feel really stressed and flustered right now. I need to organize stuff in one day and I'm not sure I can get it all done? I might need to not work on tuesday, which is my last day at work, but I need the money now as I'm down $1,000!
At least I didn't send that text to the guy I slept with, accusing him of taking it. If it turns out that it was me all along then it would have been bad, but if it turns out that he did take it and I am just confused and can't think straight, then...I'm gonna lose it.
I feel so unsure. What happened? It's perplexing. I don't know whether to get angry at myself, or angry at someone else that I cannot prove took the money? I'm just feeling frazzled from 12 hours at work mainly, and tense now. I feel like singing and toning, to help let go of this stuff. I've been doing it all day at work between clients, but now I just feel like smoking a joint...but that probably won't help things.
