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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I'm a little anxious off and on. I had some intrusive distorted thoughts nag and upset me a little while ago. I was able to process through them and feel a bit better. Now I'm so tired. I got up really early this morning. The sunrise was beautiful but now I'm just so tired. But I don't want to fall asleep. I know that if I do when I wake up again my thoughts will distort again and I'll have to go through the whole process of processing them and feeling bad for awhile. And I've already done that once today so I really don't want to do it again. But I'm just so tired.
 
I have been on an emotional roller coaster of hell today. I felt pulled into that black hole again, was laughing about Dr. Who and another TV show (what does laughter for humor feel like???), felt completely alone on the planet, drained, excited, lost, strong, weak, desperate, unloved, balanced... Right now, tired, I think. Exhausted.
 
I have been on an emotional roller coaster of hell today. I felt pulled into that black hole again

I'm there with you. Although I've been thinking of it like going down the rabbit hole and into wonderland or something. I'm really stuck there today too. And I'm having the hardest time climbing back out of it. I'm exhausted too. I kind of think lack of sleep really doesn't help us PTSD sufferers. I hope today gets better for you :hug:. I'm out getting a manicure and pedicure and I'm really hoping it will help pull me out of the rabbit hole.
 
Betrayed, by the United States Government. Part of my rent is paid by them and if I read the CNN page on the Government Shutdown correctly, it won't be paid. Whether or not it will eventually be paid when the government reopens, I do not know. If they only pay what comes after they re-open, I could be in financial hot water!
 
I'm in a strange place today. I'm beginning to understand what dissociation is, how it comes about in me, and realize that a large part of my life has been wrapped up in it. It is a beautiful day out today. I'm' going to go outside, lay down on the fresh cut grass, look around at the trees, the birds, the squirrels and such, and watch the billowy clouds shift in the sky.

I feel a mixture of remorse from the realization of how much of my life has been spent "asleep", elated that I'm realizing it, and motivated to purge the demons that bring me back to "waking sleep" - If I were a religious person, I might even call what I'm feeling a spiritual experience.

I feel also feel deeply at peace, like its okay to love myself again, to others, to allow the love of others to come in and not be afraid. This is something I haven't fully felt in a very, very long time.
 
Feel very satisfied after talking with my brother who I have issues with. I didn't go numb and become immobilized. I didn't get enraged. I walked for an hour twenty before I called him back. I didn't say anything hurtful in the need for vengeance. I want to be proud of my behavior regardless of how I am treated or have been. I was amazingly calm. I spoke the truth as it came up. But I had to walk it off for half an hour afterwards! Happy, but I'll be shocked if I sleep before dawn.
 

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