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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I'm feeling rather guilty and disappointed in myself cause I relapsed into old destructive habits yesterday after a long time of avoiding them, and it felt almost as if I didn't even care or want to keep myself from doing these things. I was very aware of what I was doing and even so I carried on, as a spoiled child that only seeks his own gratification no matter what the consequences are.

So I'm hating myself right now.
 
@purgemeofthepain , can you reframe the perception of this in way that is more generally beneficial? Rather than seeing your refraining from old destructive habits as "avoiding" them can you instead count the time between the destructive habits as a "success"? Sometimes it can help me manage the emotional upheaval and disappointment, self condemnation, and loathing... if I can try to focus instead on the amount of time I was able to refrain from the habit in that way. It doesn't change the fact that I lapsed, or relapsed... but it does turn down the volume in the hate and self loathing department.
 
I feel emotionally exhausted. I was feeling anxious and a lot of grief earlier. I usually try to not feel the grief. It makes me cry and I don't like crying. But this time I let my old fears come up and I let the grief settle on me. And I cried for an hour.

I thought I might not stop crying. The tears just kept streaming down my face. And then I sobbed until I started wheezing. I have asthma. I decided it was time to slow it down. And now I feel emotionally exhausted.
 
Rather than seeing your refraining from old destructive habits as "avoiding" them can you instead count the time between the destructive habits as a "success"?

This certainly sounds like it could be a big help in not feeling so awful if and when I relapse again. I will take it into consideration next time I put myself in this situation. Thanks @The Albatross! (I say "when" I relapse again cause I realize I'm still FAR from being free from these habits and it will take a long time and a lot more effort to achieve said freedom).
 

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