What Are You Supposed To Do?

[Heather]

I've read a lot of what people have had to say out here and it seems that a common theme that people face is lack of support from others when it come to ptsd symptoms.....i told my mom again today...i was having a hard time....i got nothing....a big fat f@#king zero was her response. Why do i even bother. Maybe i should throw a brick at her head maybe that would get her attention! (forget the baseball bat) I can't even focus anymore.....conversations with people....my ability to concentrate on what they're saying....forget it. Maybe she should eat cat food. who knows.

What do you do when nobody wants to deal with what you're going through? When i was in the hospital in july my mom wanted me to stay in there for 2 weeks. She said," yes, i think you should stay for 2 weeks. Take your time and be done with this for once and for all". Like two weeks was the magic number. Ofcourse this is the same genius that told me I should start drinking. what an idiot. I think she should be our next president, don't you?

 

[Pickle]

Hi Heather,
I haven't posted much here yet. I'm not sure I have the best answer for you. Maybe it has more to do with finding and surrounding yourself with those people who can support you and give you the positive (like here :) ) and not investing energy in those people who are unable to.

 

[Jline]

Hi Heather,

A rule I live by now is that you can't change other people. They are living with their own guilt and pain and have to face that on their own. Your mother is in denial (for whatever reason) You have to let go of wanting and needing her support and approval....Yes this should be what a mom does for their child but it is not always so. You are not alone in this Heather. Many of us on here have had to set boundaries with family members that are not supportive. It can be a wonderful relief like setting down a big bag of bricks. Be good to yourself and try hard to get out of that vicious cycle with your mom.

Peace

 

[kers]

I'm sorry you're not getting the support you need from your family. That makes everything harder to cope with.

She said," yes, i think you should stay for 2 weeks. Take your time and be done with this for once and for all".

She really doesn't get what you're dealing with at all, does she? Has your treatment team met with her to discuss how long-term the healing will be, or to talk about how she can support you better? It sounds like she hasn't any idea how severe this is or what the healing is like, so she's not able to respond in a way that help you. If you are unable or unwilling to discuss that with her (or if she continues to avoid listening), then unfortunately you have to find other supports. It is so hard to realize that the people we most want to be there for us, often aren't there. For me realizing that my mom isn't able to hear what I'm saying has been a great relief. I know her limits, and I don't push them, and I end up feeling much less frustrated and disappointed.

 

[Heather]

my counselor at rape crisis said they would meet with her and she said that she would go and she has yet to go....she never had any intention of going. and i know what everyone is saying is correct i just get so angry sometimes....that all bricks and baseball bats need to be hidden when i feel that way. thank you everyone for your continued support. i would definitely lose my mind without it

 

[Redtail]

I t is very difficult to deal with PTSD while trying to gain support from others. Can be very taxing and tiring. But Heather, you must try and do it for you, regardless of the support or lack there of presented. You dont "need" them, you can do it without them. You can do it for Heather!

 

[jcat]

This is a great forum for some support. I am now and always will be one who suggests group therapy. Finding people who are physically there for you. Someone you can call and meet for a cup of coffee. Someone to go out and laugh with that really knows where you're coming from.
Your mom just might not know what to say and may be having just as hard a time dealing with your trauma. The sheer guilt of not being there to protect you may be overwhelming to her. I dunno your situation with your mom and thank God my kids haven't had traumatic events for me to deal with. But as a parent and having friends who have had things happen to their kids I can say this. I've seen the pain and difficulty a parent has. They are at complete loss as to what to say and can be silenced by guilt. I don't know if that helps but I do know my mom didn't know what to do.
I am a surviver of PTSD. There is hope. It's taken many years, there have been set backs. There are permanent scars. No sunshine here I shoot straight. But life can be good again. You can feel and have pretty normal relationships again. But again.... The single most thing that helped me was group therapy and having a couple victim friends to support and get support from and more so learn to enjoy life again with