What are your pet peeves ?

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
This ^^^^^^!!!!!! Just had this experience this week and was livid. Yes, @Changing4Best this makes me insane!!
Somehow, I think it makes them feel more important than the sorry souls they keep waiting for them. Who are the kinds of folks that habitually do this? Dr.s. And lawyers and judges, etc. These thoughtless people must think it's Ok to do this, because very important people do it to them.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
@Changing4Best I guess I've accepted that 'important' people can do as they please. I was talking more about friends that seem to think my time and energy are not important or I can just wait and be quiet about it. I HATE depending on anyone for anything. Time for me to do some deep breathing and changing my plans!!! People can't control me if I don't let them!!
 

Friday

Moderator
I was talking more about friends that seem to think my time and energy are not important or I can just wait and be quiet about it.
Seems an odd leap to make?

Don’t get me wrong... I totally GET that pet peeves are nearly always a cognitive distortion smorgasbord
- generalizing/overgeneralizing “everyone who / people who”
- mind-reading & jumping to conclusions (in deciding what “people who” universal motives and intent are, and therefore...)
- emotional reasoning

And when you add things like PTSD into that shit sandwich? <low whistle> Not only does “StressCup Level...Rising!” make us prone to popping off like a frog in a sock, but? Trauma history can throw its weight in (feeling helpless, powerless, out of control? Or like we’re supposed to follow rules learned in trauma? Like STFU & take it) Doesn’t mean the other person is trying to control us, make us feel that way, is demanding our silence, or thinks we’re unimportant.

I don’t know your friend. Maybe they’re an abusive f*cking hyena who IS trying to control you, but because you’re just an unimportant piece of shit to them, they don’t put much effort into it. ((Like showing up early to manipulate you into getting ready faster, or showing up late to manipulate you into already being ready)).

Or maybe they’re only there because you ARE important to them, and why they’re late has nothing to do with you.

((They’re still allowed to be a cock juggling thunderc*nt, even if they love you to bits, have the best of intentions, and value you to the moon and back. Like I said, I don’t know them. Just that terrible people -as well as amazing and middling people we just happen to dislike- have lives, too. With people they value, and challenges that are about them & their lives, not about us at all.))

You know you’re friend. I’m not challenging your assessment of them, as an individual, at ALL.

Very strongly challenging : People who are late, are late because it makes them feel important / we’re not important ?EQUALS? My friend thinks I’m unimportant because they’re late.

I just wouldn’t want you to lose a (potentially) good friend by way of a wonky premise, reverse logic, and a trauma mule-kick to the head.
 
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ladee

MyPTSD Pro
I was having a 'day' @Friday. My 'I don't matter' has been my theme all week long. Had nothing to do with her. She apologized. I told her it just makes me very anxious to be late, but life gets in the way. My stress cup stays full and has for over a year now. She knows that too. We were laughing and talking within a few minutes. I get angry but I don't stay that way. She was understanding of me and me of her. So it's all good. BUT, it is a pet peeve of mine. Mine to own and to work on. I wouldn't lose a friend over something like that. But, if it continues, I simply find another ride. There is a solution. Just not that day!! I don't let my shit splash on others. But thanks for the little thump on the head. I knew I was having 'all or nothing' thoughts. I was just being self-indulgent.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
People that are always late. They keep me waiting and waiting...
I had a therapist who was always late and often cancelled. Being chronically late taking me, changing the time often, or cancelling multiple times the same day sends me the clear message that I am not important. However, if I'm late......I get charged by the therapist and then my dependability could come under scrutiny. Depends, I guess who is sitting on the couch!
 
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