Poll What Are Your Thoughts On Sarcasm As A Coping Skill For Ptsd?

[Philippa]

Abstract, you said it so much better than I feel like I articulated my feelings about sarcasm, it's like you were filling in the gaps I created. :D

It's the way in which it is used, and I am capable of finding it funny...as with shows like Black Adder, where the characters are not real, so I know no one is getting hurt, I just maybe don't have much experience in hearing sarcasm used in a way that is anything but a sneaky attack which leaves the person on the receiving end unable to go anywhere with it, without being made to feel and look like someone who is deficient in some way. I had a boyfriend who liked to employ these methods, and would tell me I had no sense of humor if I didn't laugh.

I developed the retort a few years ago "It's not that I have no sense of humor, it's just that I reserve my laughter for jokes that are actually funny". :D Which can have mixed reaction in the other person, ranging from silence, to scoffing and snickering.

I myself have been told I have a dry sense of humor...which I never thought to be an insult, but I'm sure there are many who don't like it. I think we are a mixed bag on this planet and not everyone is gonna be wired to appreciate the same kind of humor as others. So when people tell me I have 'no sense of humor,' I like to remember this and let them know that sarcasm is not the only form of humor out there, and we are all individuals. Some people find me funny, and others don't. That's ok.

 

[Miss cptsd xx]

I have always been taught that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

I have a very good sense of humour, I fact everything is worth a giggle. I have no problem with people making sarcastic comments to me, I don't take any notice, I find it quite amusing even if I don't use it. If they use it to insult me I just remind them of the above saying and then they feel like the stupid one ;)

 

[Philippa]

Well, you hope they feel like the stupid one. In my experience, they don't though, they just think you have no sense of humor. They consider sarcasm to be something only people with a clever sharp wit are capable of delivering.

 

[Britt.f7]

I like sarcasm, dry wit. Of course it depends on how sensitive I am that day. Usually, though, I mean absolutely no harm. It has gotten me through some awkward times. My grandma and I use to use it together. She always thought it funny. I thought hers funny. She said I "got" her.

It is only been lately that I have heard it was considered by some to be in ill humor and degrading. I guess, I do not mean it to be degrading, I mean it to be funny. So there is a part of me that just doesn't get it, the considering it bad. I guess it is depended on how it is used and when it is used. Like I said, if I am ultra sensitive, I would probably take someones sarcastic humor incorrectly.

Come to think of it, I have used it for evil, when others were deserving of it. In ways I didn't mean to make any one smile, just think.

 

[Philippa]

I think it is meant to make people think, and that can be a good thing. Some people use it with the intent to put others down to hurt them though. I guess it could have something to do with where the person is at and how sensitive they are at the time though.

 

[Shulamit]

I am often sarcastic when I communicate with friends and family, but I am actually occasionally mocked at work because I have a hard time understanding people, or rather their intents. Some of my co-workers truly believe I have Asperger's, which I don't. I just focus on my work and it's on my mind so a lot of things I either don't hear correctly because my thoughts are elsewhere, or because I'm not familiar with the person.

I don't think it is a coping mechanism. I think it is just my way of being funny with people I know well, and even then I know when it's not appropriate. There have been occasions where something I've said has angered a family member/friend, but I think it's just something you learn from. Not everyone appreciates or understands sarcasm, such as how I am at work.

 

[Abstract]

Just wanted to say that I am sarcastic at times with people I know well and who I know won't take offence and with subjects I know won't offend them or in general when I don't believe I will offend. I am also aim sarcasm at myself quite often in a humourous way.

I try to avoid it when I am angry or wanting to deal with conflict and use it when I am genuinely wanting to be humourous and don't mean any harm. Occasionally I give in but I try not to.

 

[Changing4Best]

When I lived in the New York City metropolitan area, I used it often. Then when I moved to Florida, USA I was informed by a former New York City-ite that it did not go over well with Floridians. So I curbed it to the best of my ability. Now I live in North Carolina USA and I rarely use it, but sometimes someone is just SOOOooo... irritating that I have used it here. One person in particular didn't appreciate it, but I was so irked by her rudeness that "I frankly didn't give a damn"!

 

[The Albatross]

No big fan of sarcasm personally. It was a theatrical tool my father used for barbs to make verbal abuse acceptable when he would do it in front of other people. I though don't confuse my personal experience with the sarcasm used by other people day to day. If it is directed to me in a conversation though, I get confused and have to pause to decide what the intent is.

 

[Hashi]

I'm curious about the idea of appropriate uses of sarcasm, what would be an example?

The healthiest use I can think for it is where it can raise awareness without being personal, or where at least that type of "unkind" communication is accepted, like in politics. However, in practice it's nearly always personal.

I think irony is preferable. For example, if someone I'm with trips over and is embarrassed, to say something gently humorous like "smooth exit" (irony) would be better than saying something sarcastic like how my two year old nephew can walk better than they can. Similarly when talking to myself. It's that thing of laughing with, rather than laughing at.

If someone feels the need to inform other people that they're idiots so they can improve, I think that begs a number of questions that aren't all about their sense of humour. But say a manager needs to give feedback to an employee, there's no need to be sarcastic to do that. Apart from the negative impact of being put down, the meaning is less likely to be clear than being told in a straightforward way.

I don't think sarcasm is a healthy coping skill. I see it as attack in order to defend. Dealing with my own feelings of inferiority by trying to make someone else inferior to me. Which I tend to do, but it isn't something I want to aim for.

I think it can be helpful for venting when the target isn't going to know. I tend to do that a lot but it's something I'd rather move away from. I don't see it as long-term healthy, because to do it long term there's a bitterness and powerlessness about it that I think keeps me stuck.

 

[Abstract]

Agreed. I guess what I think of as not being personal is still personal but aimed at self. Or is in the form of comedy such as Blackadder which was mentioned before.

Another example is when one knows someone really well and it can be used as a type of statement of affection. I do do that on occasion. Only with a few people who I know inside out and who will take it as sign of intimacy rather than a blow. Topic always being slightly flattering in an indirect sense. Lack of cautiousness can denote intimacy.

An example of flattering sarcasm: Person says that they feel stupid at present. Answer: yes, I can see that. I am surprised you get through the day!
It only works in a non aggressive way because the person has three degrees and a very impressive job or is as far from being stupid as is possible.

I have a particular hatred of sarcasm in the work place and especially used by management or anyone attempting to make changes of any type.

PS. And from a post a wrote just after this it seems I have less qualms being sarcastic when I haven't met the person. :x3: