What Bad Shit Have You Done - Daily, As it Comes To You, Your Past, Lets Be Honest

[ISupportHer]

OK, IN topic for this.

I was a vandal as a teen. Bricks through windows, etc.

That's ALL I'm gonna say!

OMG, I won't say how many decades ago now, LOL.

ISH

 

[intothelight]

OK, how pathetic is it when you spend two days trying to think of something "bad" to write. Problem is, everything I could think of that was "bad" (which was most things) really weren't bad. So here is the biggy......

I smoke cigarettes when I am stressed.

So this weekend, I have decided to do something I consider "bad". I do not feel that it is acceptable to spend money or do anything that is not a basic necessity for myself. So I am going to be frivolous and spend money on me for a manicure and pedicure. (Waiting for the lightening to strike.) I may get totally out of control and have flowers painted on my toenails, as it would cost extra!

 

[amethist]

Push the boat out ITL. Have some glitter put on them too.

My daughter had her finger nails re-done today, every nail tip a different colour.

 

[rosebug]

Hi. New to site and checking around. Diagnosed in 1998, therapy since 99'. Just saying hi.

I have lied and done things while in a mania like sleep around. I have never learned to love myself.
I have let myself be used because it simply felt normal for me. I push people away to the point I have no one. I have been a bad friend.

 

[BloomInWinter]

In 1st grade, a kid was about to beat me up so I hit him in the head with a shovel. I was holding the blade end in my right hand and had the handle on the ground, and didn't swing it, just pushed it hard into his forehead.

...and I refused to apologize. I'm sorry I hurt him. Wish I had found an easier end to that conflict...

 

[justwannabeme]

A lot of drinking and driving, jolting out of bed, looking out the bedroom window to see the truck in the yard, knew I drove because he's not home..run to check the baby. Didn't do that just once or twice. I volunteer now to drive for operation red nose durning the holidays.
Way back in the olden days back before computers and email, I was drunk through grade 8 and failed, I took my report card out of the mail, (latch key kid) and threw it away. Intercepted all phone calls, no message machines then...never told my parents, my father went to the school to get my grade 9 books and my report card in september before school started, I was grounded for a very long time in my room. No one spoke to me at all for a long time. Did a lot of LSD and mescaline, I would have rather drank, but its hard to hide the bottles and the smell when your only 13. I lived in Quebec then, they sold beer at corner stores, I was well developed at 13 and had no troubles buying it.
And that was only after the first trauma, I got worse, and so did the traumas.

 

[atl22]

I used to live on an alley where crackheads smoked crack all night. This crackhead and his girlfriend would smoke crack and argue all night and sometimes he would hit her or choke her. One night, the gang from one alley over saw this happen. One of the female gangsters told the abusive crackhead "You like to hit women? Hit me!" Thirty gangsters surrounded him and told him to fight their female friend or they would beat him to death. The crackhead ran to my door and begged me to let him in or call the cops. I had a huge steel security door, like every other house in the neighborhood, so he couldn't get in. I did not even think about opening the security door and I told him "Sounds like you better fight her!" He wouldn't do it so they beat him and kicked him for a very long time. They would kick him until their legs got tired then cycle out and let the guys on the outside get a turn. Someone did call the cops, so they dragged him one alley over and kept on going. I don't think he died, at least I never read anything about it. Not that I care. He deserved it. I'm not too sure that what I did could even be considered "bad".

A few of my friends became heroin addicts. They lived on the street and begged for change. I saw my close friend every morning for over 5 years and he always asked me for money. I never gave him a dime. His eyes were always closed so he probably didn't even know it was me.

 

[Abrasky]

I like to destroy workplaces. I don't really have a problem with jobs, but can't work because everywhere I work there is an actual workplace around it. I don't like workplaces.:mad: I've been this way since I was 19, when I was comparing the 3 workplaces I worked in and my home workplace in my mind at the time of the trauma that caused my PTSD. I have a desire to just go around and punch walls and do anything I can to destroy a work environment. I don't do most of the things I'd like to do to a workplace. I think mostly I just do a terrible job at everything or not work at all, and then it stops everything around me being a functional workplace.

 

[rosebug]

I used to be a cutter. I started at ten by cutting the bottom of my feet. I have not done it in a few years now, but I did switch to other self punishment like not eating, and just really hating myself. It is wierd, I hate myself so much, but I don't let out the anger about people who hurt me at all. I direct it all at myself. I am my own abuser now. Ugh!

 

[BloomInWinter]

I used to smoke clove cigarettes.

I used to drive my motorcycle insanely on the country roads.

I used to hit on the slimebag married guys at the bar to get drinks then leave out the back.

I used to pass out at friends houses then dumped them as friends because I was too ashamed to face them.

 

[way_back_when]

- I was very promiscuous since age 11 (this slowed down for years after I was sexually assaulted as a teen)
- I treated my first girlfriend like complete shit. She had it difficult enough being the only deaf girl in school. I have tried so hard to track her down and apologize, but I cannot remember her last name. Things are so foggy from that period of time, and there's no year book because it was a small, special ed school.
- A friend in high school had really strict parents and another friend and I thought it would be funny to have playgirl delivered to her home in her name, and other random more obscure subscriptions.
- I hopped on a bus to NYC as a teen and went on a shoplifting spree. I was uptown, walking in and out of higher end shops, with nonsense under my jacket that I didn't need. Was finally caught with a bunch of CD's, no-doze, perfume, etc. I blamed it all on skipping my lithium dose.
- When I was in psych wards we used to all push the emergency buttons at once to watch the staff run around all confused.
- I had an affair with a minister during my first year of college (same-sex) & much older.
- I had an SM affair with married professor (opposite sex) twice my age.
- Just remembered... as a young kid I used to wrap cat food in a napkin and pretend it was candy and give it to the old ladies who worked down the street at the corner store.

I could go on and on. Link Removed

 

[alixipain]

Guilt ridding I shot two soldiers that in no way would they survive their wounds, one had lost his lower half from lower intestines down, the other had half his head removed (left side blown off by sniper, 1/4 of right side remained had my face covered in some of his brain matter).

My desire to be touched in any way when I lived on the streets I presented myself to a BDSM Club as a servant.

I took pictures of my _____ so that a woman would sleep with me, again craving being touched in any way.

I used to drink drunks under the table, drank 2 fifths daily and more on weekends (Tequila and Vodka) most the time it was to get even more sh*tfaced than normal.

I would hire hookers to hold me.

I lie about why I shake to future employers, I tell them it’s caused by having a heat stroke, and I don’t tell them it’s associated with brain damage.

I refuse to let myself off the hook when it comes to my first wife’s death, IF I had done as she said and tuff it out instead of demanding her to come get me she and the child would still be alive. I remind myself of it when I get extremely frustrated thus calms me mildly.

I took a knife to a policeman just to get locked up for 48 hrs to get out of having to pay a speeding ticket for 110 MPH. Same lock up I played strip poker with myself and fought with myself (threw punches at myself) just to play with the doctors there.

Everyone I ever had to shot was in my eyes my dad. Needless to say I would empty my weapon.

At times I self victimize because of fear of what might be, when I get better what will be expected of me.

I sometimes took pleasure in having sex with my mom when I got older.
I at times can’t look a woman in the eyes I have to look at their breasts.